Stepping out of my comfort zone

As an introvert, I like to stay tucked inside my comfort zone. But occasionally, I force myself out of it, in big or small ways. 

The other day I did something I never do: I posted some photos of myself demonstrating exercises for a writing loop I belong to. 

Now, you might think this is no big deal, but if you know me or are friends with me on Facebook, you'll see that I rarely post photos of myself. If I do, they're just parts of my face, rarely my whole face or body. If I find a photo I like, I use it for years. 

I'm a personal trainer in my day job. If you saw me in person, you might think I don't look anything like you might have expected a personal trainer to look like. I'm 50 years old, and I'm far from a size two. I'm very fit, but I'm certainly not "skinny." In fact, like many women my age, I have a few extra pounds I struggle to lose. I post a lot on Facebook and my blogs about fitness, but I've never used photos of myself demonstrating exercises, because I know what people's expectations are, and I'm just not comfortable sharing photos like that.

But the other day, I did. I was trying to explain some exercises and finally thought, "Screw it. I'll just have my hubby take some pictures. That'll make it much easier." So I did. And you know what? The world didn't end. The internet didn't blow up. In fact, nobody even commented. So basically I was worried about nothing. 

Sometimes, we just need to do it. Push aside our discomfort and do it. Whatever "it" is.

What about you? Have you done anything recently to push yourself out of your comfort zone? Let me know in the comments so I can give you a virtual high five. 

Q & A with author Lola Karns

Thanks for being here today, Lola. Would you please share a short bio about yourself?
I always find it strange to talk about myself, sort of like being on a blind date. After having a variety of jobs ranging from bartender, concierge, file clerk, document translator, shipping clerk as I moved up and down the East Coast and Midwest, I decided I needed a more portable career. Remembering how often I daydreamed through my various jobs, I decided to try and make a novel out of some of the stories I told myself to make the day go faster.

Do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person? Yes.

In what ways has being shy or introverted hindered your writing career? 
I’m sure being shy has hurt some of my promotional opportunities. I have a hard time networking and reaching out to people even after I have met them. A few years ago, I was fortunate enough to have Joanna Bourne read some of my work in an anonymous review group. She loved my writing and complemented me personally afterwards. I was too shy to ask if she would read and blurb for me on Winter Fairy.

In what ways has being shy or introverted helped your writing career?
Until I’m really comfortable with someone, I tend to be more of a listener than a talker. I also must give off a trustworthy vibe. As a result, I’ve been part of conversations that give me a window into other people’s lives, people who experienced the world in a different way than I did. I’ve learned a lot by being quiet and I draw upon that knowledge to create believable characters.

What’s the hardest part of this business for you?
Promotion. I want people to find my book and fall in love with the characters, but increasingly, authors have to be PR people as well. I find it hard enough to call people I know and ask them to help support my book, much less to cold call people and do the same. It takes so much energy for me to work up the nerve to dial the phone or send an email to someone I don’t know that I’m emotionally worn out by the time I get a response and I fear my nervousness overpowers my passion for my characters and the story.

Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life? 

Just one? I try to force myself outside of my comfort zone on a semi-regular basis because more often than not, it works. I went to college out of state rather than going in state with a lot of my friends. I also found a great preschool and pediatrician for my children by walking up to a group of women at the playground and saying “Hi, I’m new in town.”

What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you? 
See above. Sometimes it’s worth stepping outside your comfort zone. At best, you’ll have a terrific experience and at worst, you’ll appreciate the quiet even more when you’re done.

Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it?
Winter Fairy is available as an eBook through Amazon, Crimson Romance, iTunes and Barnes & Noble. Print version forthcoming.

Widowed doctor Carson Langley didn’t know what surprises him more at his six-year-old’s dance recital, that his reticent daughter is the star of the show or that the attractive teacher, Penelope Glazier, seems to have gotten through to his girl. Too bad she considers teaching a temporary job before she returns to her professional touring company. Even if he were willing to take a risk with his heart, he has to protect his daughter, Eloise.

Free-spirited Penelope Glazier doesn’t believe the stories she heard about Eloise. All she sees is a creative girl who needs some direction and she’s the perfect person to provide it while she recovers from a near catastrophic injury. After spending time with Eloise and her by-the-book father, she recognizes that despite their differences, they have a connection.
When Penelope lands a plum part will she dance out of Carson and Eloise’s life forever? Or will she take on her riskiest part ever?
Where can my readers find you on the web? 
I’m on Facebook and Goodreads as Lola Karns, Twitter @lolakarns and my website www.lolakarns.com

Thanks for having me and giving me a reason to step outside my comfort zone. I look forward to hearing from your readers.

You're welcome! Thanks for stopping by. :)

Beyond my comfort zone

I'm starting a new series on this blog about stepping outside of my (or your) comfort zone. We've touched on this in our regular Wednesday guest postings and interviews, but I thought it would be fun to focus on this aspect of being shy and/or introverted. Every Tuesday (that's the plan anyway--I'm also lazy, forgetful and unorganized by nature), I will tell you how I am stepping outside my comfort zone. Even better, you can come on as a guest and tell the readers how you are stepping outside your comfort zone.

Being shy and/or introverted can really hold us back sometimes, often manifesting itself as fear. Fear to try new things, fear to put ourselves "out there." Personally, I'm sick and tired of letting fear run my life. If you know me personally, you may not necessarily think of me as a wimp, but I am. Trust me. If you know me personally, you know that I teach group exercise classes, including Zumba. Now, how on earth could I do this if I'm shy or introverted? Practice, baby. Practice. Fake it till you make it. And any other cliche you can come up with. Years ago, when I was just a personal trainer and not also a class instructor (one on one, I'm fine, but put me in front of a group...yikes.), my gym was in desperate need of a kickboxing sub. Somehow, my boss knew I had a background in martial arts (mainly because my hubby was a martial artist). They asked me to sub the kickboxing class for several weeks while the regular instructor was on leave. Holy #$@%! I said yes, because I'm a nice person and often do things just to be nice (remember, I told you I can be a wimp), but I swear to God I had a horrible stomach ache and insomnia for days leading up to that first class. I'm pretty sure I wet my pants a bit that first day, but somehow I muddled through, and somehow subbing that class led to a second fitness career as group exercise instructor. Right now, I teach Zumba, Pilates, yoga and a fitball sculpt class.

I've been teaching for about 8 years now. But you know what? I still get nervous before EVERY class, especially Zumba where I really have to be "on" and energetic (so not my personality). Before every class, I give myself a little pep talk beforehand. I have to remind myself to make eye contact with students. I have to remind myself to smile. Luckily, my sister takes my classes--if I look too serious, she'll break out into a HUGE grin to remind me to do the same.

Even though teaching still gets me nervous, I'm SO glad I didn't let my fear prevent me from accepting that first teaching opportunity. Being a group exercise instructor is one of the most rewarding and fun jobs I've ever had. I mean, seriously, I get paid to work out. I get paid to work out with other people. I get paid to help people get fit, get more energy, get more self-confidence. Those benefits far outweigh my pathetic little fears.

So...tell me one little thing you'll do this week to step outside of YOUR comfort zone.