Stepping out of my comfort zone

As an introvert, I like to stay tucked inside my comfort zone. But occasionally, I force myself out of it, in big or small ways. 

The other day I did something I never do: I posted some photos of myself demonstrating exercises for a writing loop I belong to. 

Now, you might think this is no big deal, but if you know me or are friends with me on Facebook, you'll see that I rarely post photos of myself. If I do, they're just parts of my face, rarely my whole face or body. If I find a photo I like, I use it for years. 

I'm a personal trainer in my day job. If you saw me in person, you might think I don't look anything like you might have expected a personal trainer to look like. I'm 50 years old, and I'm far from a size two. I'm very fit, but I'm certainly not "skinny." In fact, like many women my age, I have a few extra pounds I struggle to lose. I post a lot on Facebook and my blogs about fitness, but I've never used photos of myself demonstrating exercises, because I know what people's expectations are, and I'm just not comfortable sharing photos like that.

But the other day, I did. I was trying to explain some exercises and finally thought, "Screw it. I'll just have my hubby take some pictures. That'll make it much easier." So I did. And you know what? The world didn't end. The internet didn't blow up. In fact, nobody even commented. So basically I was worried about nothing. 

Sometimes, we just need to do it. Push aside our discomfort and do it. Whatever "it" is.

What about you? Have you done anything recently to push yourself out of your comfort zone? Let me know in the comments so I can give you a virtual high five. 

Q & A with author Erin McCauley

I'm delighted to have my friend Erin McCauley on the blog today. Thanks for being here today, Erin. Would you please share a short bio about yourself?

I was born and raised in Seattle, Washington, but as a military wife, I was able to experience the beauty of Alaska, the tundra of Iceland, and the warmth of North Carolina and California, and am able to use all of these locations in my writing. In the years that followed, I worked as a Bank Officer, and a Regional Sales Manager for a local winery, before settling down to work towards my dream of being a writer.  
 
I’m an active soccer mom, who spends hours in my car driving my little jock around. I currently live in the Pacific Northwest with my three children and my dedicated writing partner, Maxx, a three pound Yorkie who never leaves my side.

Do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person?

Not at all, but I used to be. Anyone who knows me now doesn’t believe me. But we all have our moments of insecurity.

What’s the hardest part of this business for you? 

After the constant rejections and “we loved it, but” aspect?  It is the actual business part itself. Did I sign with the right publisher? Did I miss anything in my contract? Am I on the right media sights, am I marketing myself correctly? For me personally, I wanted to write a fabulous book, have it become an overnight success and hire a wise assistant to do the rest. Well, it doesn’t happen like that (unfortunately) and I’ve had to, and still have to, figure the rest out as I go. Thank goodness I have so many wonderful author friends to hold my hand and guide me a bit.

Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life?

To be honest, it was my first book signing. I’m not shy, so you’d think it would be easy, but it wasn’t. I was nervous, afraid I would throw up. What if they all walked past my table? What if I couldn’t talk to anyone, or answer their questions with any sort of intelligence? I could picture myself being asked “what’s your book about?" and my having to excuse myself to go be sick in private - Or worse, totally not remembering. I made it through, so here’s hoping the next one is a bit more comfortable.

What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you?

When it comes to your craft, you have to believe in yourself and your work. Shy or not, if you project any sign of confidence it will shine through to people, whether agents, editors, other authors or readers. In knowing your story, or your craft, it will project itself as confidence and allow you to be more open when discussing it with others. You know how excited you get when you talk about your latest WIP, or a book you just finished reading, or a great movie? Harness that excitement when you need to slip out of your shyness for a while. Excitement is contagious.

Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it? 
THE CONFESSION: A confession turns successful handbag designer, Aimee Morrison’s world upside down and lands her on the doorstep of Emily Sinclair, the woman who could possibly be her birth mother. In a case of mistaken identity, she impulsively accepts a job as her personal assistant. To complicate matters, she falls in love with Marcus Lee, a sexy, moody, damaged man who believes all women are incapable of telling the truth.

Marcus Lee has spent most of his life on the Sinclair estate, and watching woman after woman claim to be Emily’s ‘long lost daughter’ in an effort to be her sole heir, he trusts no one and believes everyone has a hidden agenda. Upon meeting Aimee, he is surprised by his strong physical attraction to her, and even as he begins to fall in love, he knows she’s keeping secrets.

Tangled in her own deceptions, will Aimee lose everything she loves once the truth is revealed?   

The confession is available on

Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Crimson Romance

Where can my readers find you on the web?

 

http://Erinmccauley.com


Thanks so much for coming on today, Erin!

Wishing you many, many sales!

Q & A with author Sandra Dailey

Thanks so much for being here today, Sandra. Would you please share a short bio about yourself?
Thanks for inviting me, Becky. I’d love to.

I live with my husband in North Florida. We have a combined family of four grown children and seven grandchildren. On the weekends I work as a home healthcare provider, but on weekdays I close myself away to write. I’m most comfortable in pajamas and usually work on my enclosed front porch.  As a hobby, I like needle work. I’m currently working on a hand-stitched quilt for my daughter.

Do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person?

Shy no, introverted definitely. I have six siblings that tend to overwhelm me. I learned at a very young age how to be invisible. However, I’m a good listener and people watcher because of it. My husband is very understanding. He has seven sibs.

In what ways has being introverted hindered your writing career?

I don’t do the legwork I should for my research. I avoid leaving my house at all. Besides my huge book collection, the internet is my best friend.

In what way has being introverted helped your writing career?

I spend a lot of time at my computer. I’ve been known to write for sixteen hour stretches. The only thing that distracts me is social media. I have to keep telling myself, facebook is the enemy.

What’s the hardest part of this business for you?

You probably hear this all the time…PROMOTION. I’m not one to toot my own horn. I finally gave myself a good talking to. “You don’t have to promote yourself; you have to promote your books, reading and writing.” I can talk about my characters and storylines for hours. Standing in front of any group doesn’t bother me, and I love answering questions. However, I can’t see myself speaking on television or radio, like some of the authors I follow. I don’t know why that’s different, but I think it’s a control issue.

Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life.

I can be pretty territorial about my writing. To push that send button when it’s time to submit is still the hardest thing I do. That’s when I start second guessing myself and my stomach ties in a knot. I’m not good for anything for the rest of the day.

What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you?

Ask your family and friends to share your info with their friends. The network of romance writers are a tight group and your family loves to get involved. Then, don’t forget to return the favor.

Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it?

Ginny Dearing has finally realized her goal of teaching, but finding a position is proving impossible. After exhausting all possibilities, an Internet ad is her only hope. In a small town hundreds of miles away there is a job with one huge string attached...a husband.

Burned by love once, Brett Silverfeather finds his bachelor life more than satisfying. He’s facing re-election for sheriff, but this time the voters are looking for a family man. Brett finds himself pursuing a marriage he doesn’t want.

Available:

The Wild Rose Press http://bit.ly/PSiSNR

Amazon for Kindle http://amzn.to/MCNbDU

Barnes and Noble http://bit.ly/RTDJ01

Where can my readers find you on the web?

Contact me at:

http://sandradailey.com

http://sandradailey.blogspot.com

http://facebook.com/sandradailey.author

Q & A with author Carol Kilgore

Thanks for being here today, Carol. Would you please share a short bio about yourself? 
Thank you for hosting me. It's a real treat for me to spend time on your blog. I'm a Texas native, but I've lived in many different places around the U.S. as a military spouse. We now live in San Antonio with two active herding dogs that share their sofa with us every once in a while. Most of my novels are set in Texas because it's the place I know best. Besides, I want readers to see my view of Texas. I write a blend of mystery, suspense, and romance I call Crime Fiction with a Kiss. There's always at least one crime, and there's always a romance or a love story.

Do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person?
Introverted, yes. Shy, no.

In what ways has being shy or introverted hindered your writing career? 
I like people, and I enjoy meeting new people both online and in person. But I also enjoy Me Time, and I cherish my privacy. Perhaps I should say I did cherish my privacy. I stayed away from social networking until last year. Not only did I resent the time I knew it would take, I didn't want everything about me out there for anyone to see. But I knew becoming socially connected was a necessary step if I wanted any sort of success for my novels. Now I enjoy the interaction, and I'm somewhat comfortable with people knowing more about me.

In what ways has being shy or introverted helped your writing career?
Because I'm an introvert, I enjoy spending time by myself. Writing a novel requires a lot of alone time, so the actual planning, writing, and editing parts of creating a novel benefit greatly from my being an introvert.

What’s the hardest part of this business for you?
Self-Promotion. I'm happy to promote and talk about other writers and their books all day long. But promoting myself is a different ballgame. It's much easier for me to be a cheerleader for other writers and their books than it is for me to cheer for myself. So my own self-promotion doesn't make much use of pom-poms or cartwheels.

Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life? 
This is a difficult question for me to answer. Stepping outside my comfort zone has been a part of my life for a long time. Basically, I just pull up my Big Girl Panties, take a deep breath, and plunge in. The same with publishing a book. There's no other way. You can't let fear paralyze you into doing nothing.

What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you?
Build bridges to others, no matter who they are. Treat people the way you would like to be treated. Take the responsibility for establishing relationships with readers and writers—don't wait for them to reach out to you. Bottom line: Be a friend.

Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it? 

No home. No family. No place to hide. For Summer Newcombe, that's only the beginning.

The night Summer escapes from a burning Padre Island eatery and discovers the arsonist is stalking her, is the same night she meets Fire Captain Gabriel Duran. As much as she's attracted to Gabe, five years in the Federal Witness Security Program because of her father’s testimony against a mob boss have taught her the importance of being alone and invisible.

No matter how much she yearns for a real home, Summer relinquished that option the night she killed the man who murdered her father. But Gabe breaks down her guard and places both of them in danger. Summer has vowed never to kill again, but she's frantic she'll cost Gabe his life unless she stops running and fights for the future she wants with the man she loves.

IN NAME ONLY is available exclusively at Amazon:

Where can my readers find you on the web? 
I do most of my communicating on my blog, Under the Tiki Hut, and on my Facebook Author Page. I'm still trying to figure out exactly how to best utilize Goodreads. And I tweet sporadically. I'm always open for LIKES and FOLLOWS where they're an option!

Website: http://www.carolkilgore.net
Blog: http://www.underthetikihut.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/carolkilgore.author
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/#!/carol_kilgore
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6094110.Carol_Kilgore
Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/author/ckilgore

Thanks for visiting us today, Carole! 

Beyond my comfort zone

I'm starting a new series on this blog about stepping outside of my (or your) comfort zone. We've touched on this in our regular Wednesday guest postings and interviews, but I thought it would be fun to focus on this aspect of being shy and/or introverted. Every Tuesday (that's the plan anyway--I'm also lazy, forgetful and unorganized by nature), I will tell you how I am stepping outside my comfort zone. Even better, you can come on as a guest and tell the readers how you are stepping outside your comfort zone.

Being shy and/or introverted can really hold us back sometimes, often manifesting itself as fear. Fear to try new things, fear to put ourselves "out there." Personally, I'm sick and tired of letting fear run my life. If you know me personally, you may not necessarily think of me as a wimp, but I am. Trust me. If you know me personally, you know that I teach group exercise classes, including Zumba. Now, how on earth could I do this if I'm shy or introverted? Practice, baby. Practice. Fake it till you make it. And any other cliche you can come up with. Years ago, when I was just a personal trainer and not also a class instructor (one on one, I'm fine, but put me in front of a group...yikes.), my gym was in desperate need of a kickboxing sub. Somehow, my boss knew I had a background in martial arts (mainly because my hubby was a martial artist). They asked me to sub the kickboxing class for several weeks while the regular instructor was on leave. Holy #$@%! I said yes, because I'm a nice person and often do things just to be nice (remember, I told you I can be a wimp), but I swear to God I had a horrible stomach ache and insomnia for days leading up to that first class. I'm pretty sure I wet my pants a bit that first day, but somehow I muddled through, and somehow subbing that class led to a second fitness career as group exercise instructor. Right now, I teach Zumba, Pilates, yoga and a fitball sculpt class.

I've been teaching for about 8 years now. But you know what? I still get nervous before EVERY class, especially Zumba where I really have to be "on" and energetic (so not my personality). Before every class, I give myself a little pep talk beforehand. I have to remind myself to make eye contact with students. I have to remind myself to smile. Luckily, my sister takes my classes--if I look too serious, she'll break out into a HUGE grin to remind me to do the same.

Even though teaching still gets me nervous, I'm SO glad I didn't let my fear prevent me from accepting that first teaching opportunity. Being a group exercise instructor is one of the most rewarding and fun jobs I've ever had. I mean, seriously, I get paid to work out. I get paid to work out with other people. I get paid to help people get fit, get more energy, get more self-confidence. Those benefits far outweigh my pathetic little fears.

So...tell me one little thing you'll do this week to step outside of YOUR comfort zone.

Q & A with DAWNE PROCHILO

I'm so excited to have you here today, Dawne. Would you please share a short bio for our readers?

I currently have many erotic and contemporary romance books. My writing in the romance genre varies from sweet and sensual all the way up to four flame heat erotic.

I am the Promotions Director for a publisher, and a freelance writer for a newspaper. I oversee and contribute to thirteen blogs weekly, twelve facebook fan pages and am in the process of writing a promotional eBook for authors.

I do reviews books for Coffee Beans and Love Scenes, Simply Erotic Reviews, All-Girls Reviews and Sexy Reads.

Wow, I need a nap after reading that bio. Okay, I think I know the answer to this next question, but do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person?

No, not at all.

That's what I thought. So, what’s the hardest part of this business for you?

Balancing my time between my personal writing, promotions for the publisher, reading for reviews and finding some leisure down time. I love the behind the scenes aspects of the business just as much as the writing and being a published author. I am having an identity crisis. LOL

Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life?

I wanted to challenge my writing style and prolific writing so I had a vision of a F/F novel one day. I thought, I can do that. How hard can it be? So I set to writing and within one weekend's time, I had produced a 6k F/F about love and connection. I submitted the work to Secret Cravings Publishing and within a few days it was accepted. I never told my husband until after I had the cover in hand. Needless to say, he was quite surprised with my writing ability. He read it and immediately said, "Now I need a cigarette." I took that as a huge compliment.

Another time (even though I have over a decade of newspaper writing background) I was asked by a USA Today editor to write an article about erotica and its advances within the e-reader world. Now, keep in mind, I have written hundreds, if not thousands, of newspaper articles but this one had me fumbling. This was BIG! This was USA Today. I wrote it, no editing, and it came out in the fall of 2011.

What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you?

Building self-confidence is key. No matter the person, if you are comfortable with yourself and your writing, use that as a stepping stone to expand and elaborate any aspect of your life. If you have confidence in yourself, roll with it.

Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it?

Rand Bartlett, tall, dark and a loner, is not a man to be reckoned with – but tell that to Darci Hart. According to Rand, Darci would try the patience of a saint. After a one-night stand, Darci finds herself pregnant. Rand, a loner, wants to marry Darci, but she has other plans – and they don’t include Rand. Despite all of Darci's attempts to keep Rand out of the picture, his persistence pays off. It's a love-hate relationship that keeps Rand and Darci on their toes.

Buy: Secret Cravings Publishing

Where can my readers find you on the web?

Facebook

Blog
Twitter

Thanks so much for being here today, Dawne!

Q & A with Carina Press author Cathy Perkins

Thanks for being here today, Cathy. Would you please share a short bio about yourself?

Hi Becky, thanks for inviting me to be part of the blog today. I spend most of my time submerged in a financial geek day-job and escape into stories – mine or one of the millions of authors whose stories I love – in the evenings. I was born and raised in South Carolina, but moved to the Pacific Northwest when my kids were in high school. They survived. J

About a year ago, we bought land in the mountains (to the intense amusement of more than one of my friends, I’ve learned to drive a tractor and do battle with the beavers over the height of the pond). It’s a writer’s paradise though - weekends this winter included snow outside, a fire inside and my trusty laptop.

Do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person? In what ways has being shy or introverted hindered your writing career? In what ways has being shy or introverted helped your writing career?

I’m not sure if you’d call me an introvert (I do!) or just a quiet person. After mumble, mumble years in consulting (and playing the corporate-wifey role), my husband has a hard time believing that claim. He’s seen my Chatty-Cathy mode.

With the day job, I’m doing two things: I’m listening to what the client needs – introverts listen well – and I’m ‘selling’ a product or solution to a known issue. With the corporate requirements, it really is a role. Again, it’s listening to people who are more nervous than you are about meeting the Boss’s Wife. Trust me, I’m not intimidating!

Once I started writing, I found it easy to network because we were all excited about a common passion. People who don’t roll their eyes when I talk about my story or struggle with a character arc or motivation or… I’ll stop now.

The promo aspects of writing are another story. Whew, I had to talk about my book and myself, instead of something tangible and separate from my personal identity. Social media was like an introvert’s nightmare – a giant cocktail party where you didn’t know a soul! I’m sllllooowwwlllyyyy finding I enjoy Facebook and Twitter – the impromptu conversations can be a lot of fun. 

Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life?

I went to Bouchercon (a huge mystery reader/author conference) for the first time last fall and didn’t know a soul. On the plane, I had a major case of ‘what am I doing?’ compounded by crossed wires (and a dying cell phone) over where I supposed to meet my new roommate. I’d only spoken with this woman on-line, but she and her friend graciously allowed me to crash on the sofa in their suite. They both turned out to be wonderful people who let me tag along to all the parties they were invited to. As soon as we entered the room, though, I knew they needed to ‘do their thing.’ I peeled off and acted as if I knew what I was doing. Rather than treating it like that introvert’s nightmare, I simply walked up to a lost looking person and started talking. And guess what – they were so happy someone broke the ice and talked to them! I ended up working the room and met so many fantastic people. While I’m terrible with names, I’d see them later in a session or the bar and it made it easy to meet whoever they were talking to. Sometimes, it’s forgetting about your own worries and just relaxing. Maybe that’s my ‘tip’ – focusing on the other person makes it easier for me to forget I’m nervous. 

Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it?

Set in South Carolina, stopping the serial killer who is terrorizing college campuses drives the plot of THE PROFESSOR. The tension and stakes build as the characters’ wants and needs set them on a collision course: Charismatic State Agent Mick O'Shaughnessy wants more from life than work and a pretty face. Fiercely independent graduate student Meg Connelly always wanted a loving family and professional success, but has to learn to trust in order to get either. The Professor knows the only way to get what he wants is to take it—and taking Meg’s life will destroy Mick with the same stroke of his knife.

Buy links:

Link to amazon   http://amzn.to/tm7uf6

Link to B&N  http://bit.ly/rQKCHp
Carina http://bit.ly/AeUQWx

Where can my readers find you on the web?

www.cperkinswrites.com

http://facebook.com/CathyPerkinsAuthor

http://twitter.com/cperkinswrites

GLENYS O'CONNELL: A little Q & A

Q. Thanks for being here today. Would you please share a short bio about yourself?

A.A Short bio? What to say? What to say? I write romantic suspense and have several novels published. But I regard myself as a writing "Jill of all Trades" and have also written children's fiction and non-fiction, and following my interest in counselling and psychology, I've had two books on mental health issues published.

Back to fiction -- I've written two or three one-act plays -- two of them have been produced on stage, and one has won several awards, including a best drama award as the author of a play translated into Irish Gaelic! I've written many articles, web content, and a series of hypnotherapy scripts as well as ghostwriting several books. I started out my working life as a journalist and covering the crime beat for a large daily paper in Ontario fed my interest in psychology, so I took a degree and further qualifications as a counselor.

I'm also putting together a book on novel writing based on my online writing course: Naked Writing - the No Frills Way to Write Your Book, and I'm excited to be taking the plunge with Indie publishing on that one! But romantic suspense and mysteries will always be my first love - they fulfill my craving for romance, crime and excitement! I've lived and worked in the UK., Ireland and Canada -- all countries which provide excellent settings for novels. Now I'm back home in very rural Ontario, Canada, and at work on a series of novels about a psychotherapist turned amateur detective and on a non-fiction book about relationships.

Q. Do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person?

A. Yes, I am both shy and introverted -- in another age I'd probably be a hermit living deep in the woods, or a witchy woman living alone with my cats....

Q. In what ways has being shy or introverted hindered your writing career?

A. It's a two-edged sword, really. I'm not shy when I'm interviewing people as a journalist, or teaching as a creative writing instructor (I taught law, creative writing and did life coaching in Ireland and worked with disadvantaged children and adults, too). I'm able to stand in front of a class and talk for as long as I need to -- but put me on a stage promoting one of my plays or in a bookstore doing a book signing, and I'm instantly tongue tied. Promotion, especially in person, when I'm required to talk about my own work, is really difficult and I know that shyness has prevented me from taking up promotional opportunities.

Q. In what ways has being shy or introverted helped your writing career?

A. In my professional life, particularly as a journalist, I learned to adopt a 'professional personna' which lets me put a shield between myself and what I'm doing, if that makes sense. I am learning from that experience to 'fake it until you make it' and I think I'm becoming better at going out to readers and talking or promoting my work. At least, I hope so!

Q. What’s the hardest part of this business for you?

A. Promotion and book signings - see the answers above!

Q. Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life?

A. Oh, my -- there are a number of answers to that one.

How about the time I was invited to cover a Women's Institute convention, with hundreds of attendees, for my newspaper -- and no one told me I was on the slate as a speaker! I was pretty young at the time, and I did give a talk on writing club reports that would interest newspapers. Apparently, I spoke for the required 20 minutes and everyone clapped and said it was great. Me? I don't remember a word I said....

Then there was the time I was invited to do a series of workshops at an elementary school about my children's book, The Pebble People Save the Day....30 little boys, full of questions and with short attention spans, waiting expectantly, and the teacher left me alone in the room. I survived, though....and the kids didn't riot!

And possibly some of my worst moments have been when women readers have commented that they really thought the sex in my books was hot...and went on to ask me if I had any tips for them.

Q. What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you?

A. Don't take things personally. People are usually genuinely interested in the work you do, or they wouldn't want to hear about it. Your readers are the people you are writing for -- do them the honor of respecting that and do your best to treat them as special people in your world. And if you get a rejection, or the reviews don't come in (or worse, aren't as good as you'd hoped!) or a store won't carry your books, or some other disappointment occurs in your writing, don't take it personally. Books are very much subjective -- a rejection or a poor review isn't a personal judgement on you! Remember when you learned to ride a bike? You kept falling off and then all of a sudden, there you were -- riding with the wind! Well, keep on doing what you love, and the things you fear will get easier and actually become (almost) enjoyable!

Q. Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it?

A. This is from Resort to Murder, a romantic suspense/police detective novel set in Yorkshire. England.

Disgraced police detective Ellie Fitzpatrick is prepared to face a vicious killer to redeem herself but is she also brave enough to make peace with the man she loves? Her meteoric career crashes and burns after she is falsely accused of accepting bribes from thugs running a protection racket. Suspended from the job she loves, she believes herself abandoned not only by police colleagues but by her lover, Detective Liam Reilly. Then she is called back to work when a biography of a serial killer she arrested suggests the man may be innocent. Reilly vows to protect Ellie from the gang who tried to frame her and the killer who's stalking her. But can she trust him with her life?

The Wild Rose Press|Amazon|Barnes & Noble

ISBN: 1-60154-652-1

Q. Where can my readers find you on the web?

A. I have a web page at www.glenysoconnell.com under the 'brand' Romance Can Be Murder! I also blog with The Roses of Prose  and on Amazon. I'm also on Twitter @GlenysOConnell.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to be here today, Rebecca, and special good wishes to shy writers everywhere!

JOSIE MALONE: Writing in the real world

Please welcome romance author Josie Malone to the blog. Josie's second book with BookStrand, Daddy Spell, just released. Josie will give away a copy of one of her books to one random commenter this weekend.

Here's Josie: Writing for me has always been a case of stepping out of “my comfort zone.” The expectation in my family was that I’d marry during high school or immediately afterwards. Instead, I opted for a life of adventure, not one that I saw as “quiet desperation.” Or as Robert Frost wrote, “…I took the road less traveled by and that has made all the difference…”

I am a writer. I have always been a story-teller. It’s a family tradition. I remember my grandmother as the queen of pithy comments who served putdowns at her Sunday dinners, along with her pot roast. Grandma never swore. It wasn’t ladylike, but insulting someone’s intelligence, morality, behavior, manners and children or mate was an art form. Grandma ran the Pine Tree Tavern below First Avenue in downtown Seattle, and kept a “cuss jar” for her clientele. Funds collected from the foul language paid for the annual Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas party at the bar, while the leftover money went to Children’s Hospital in Seattle.

I started writing down Grandma’s stories as a young teen although I knew nothing about the techniques or mechanics of what would become my passion. Most listeners, my parents, my aunts, uncles, cousins squirmed at her turn of a phrase. I always admired Grandma’s use of language. When I graduated from high school, I was determined to be a writer. My creative writing teacher had told me I had talent and suggested college. I came from a poor, single-parent household, and higher education wasn’t possible. No one in our extended family had ever attended college. The girls got married and the boys went to work.

I was the first girl in the family to graduate from high school and the last thing I wanted was a husband. I went to work for a temporary office service and washed dishes at night in a restaurant. I wasn’t able to fulfill my dream of joining the Army because I was needed at home to raise my younger sisters. I enlisted in the U.S. Army Reserve instead. When the wolf was at the door with a litter of pups, as my grandfather used to say, or when times were even harder, the civilian liaison of my Army Reserve unit would put me “on orders.” He didn’t care what I typed as long as I looked busy and didn’t allow anyone at his desk when he was out playing golf with the General who commanded Fort Lawton. So, I began my first novel.

My orders ran out about the time I finished the novel, so I bundled up my baby and shipped it off to Harlequin Books in Canada. I didn’t know anything about the publishing business, so I mailed the only copy I had. In addition to this no-no, I also didn’t have a clue about setting up a manuscript. I finished each chapter and began the next one on the same page, a fatal flaw. I also used up every scrap of paper and didn’t worry about such things as margins, or double spacing the lines of text.

Worst of all, while the man my heroine thought she loved was dashing, romantic and charming – he was also unfaithful, dishonest and nasty, a little too much like the real life I knew about. She ended up with her nice, quiet, dull best friend, Toby – the kind of guy a woman could spend a lifetime loving, but he wasn’t a traditional romance hero. Even so, Toby survived the trip to Canada and Harlequin. Eventually, I received a letter. Harlequin liked my book. However, all the purchases at the time were made in England, so my book was going somewhere I HAD NEVER BEEN, LONDON!

It took a few more months for the book to finally be rejected, but by then I was hard at work on my next romance novel. At eighteen, I had almost made it and I was determined to become a successful novelist. College still wasn’t an option. I began to attend talks by published authors. Many offered classes in writing for nominal fees. I saved every extra cent to pay for these courses, usually by riding the bus and not driving the car to work.

I also attended conferences and workshops.I started to learn the mechanics behind the mysteries of creating saleable work. I joined Romance Writers of America. I also submitted my work to editors and literary agents and began to collect rejection letters.

Prior to attending Washington State University to attain my BA degrees in English and History, I sold two novels. I’d sent in a query – a chapter and an outline of a proposed novel. While the editor turned that one down as well as a story about horses, she suggested I call her. I did and we wound up discussing what would become my first book for her company, Daddy, Please Tell Me What’s Wrong. It sold out the initial print run of 50,000 copies. The first fan letter I received after the publication of this YA novel that dealt with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder showed me once again how great an impression language makes. The young girl wrote, “I really liked your book….her dad killed himself….so did mine. Have a nice day.”

I love to watch a story unfold on the pages. Nothing compares with the feeling of success when I read my words in a newspaper, magazine or between the covers of a paperback. It’s the writing that matters most of all. I agree with other writers who say if they never published again, it would not matter – only the writing does.

However, this past spring, BookStrand bought one of my romances, a historical about a woman who masquerades as a man in the old West. Then, this summer they bought a second book, a contemporary about a divorced mom who runs a pony farm and falls in love with her new horseshoer. The teenage dream I had of being a romance novelist is coming true, even if Grandma never saw it, but she always believed in me.

Grandma’s love of language was the legacy she passed on to me. As she told me more than once, “Your words have power. Use it wisely. Don’t shout when a whisper will do.” So, when I chose a pen name for my romances, I opted for part of hers as a tribute. Josie Malone.

When people ask what I do, I say, “I’m a writer. Telling stories is a family tradition. I just write down mine.”

About Josie: As a child, I loved to dream away the days in an old cherry tree on my family’s pony farm. In my imagination, the tree became a beautiful Arabian stallion, a medieval castle and even a pirate ship. I got in trouble for making my little sisters walk the plank, but hey, they never broke any bones. On rainy days, I headed for my fort in the hayloft. While the rain thudded on the cedar shingled roof, I read books, eventually trading Carolyn Keene for Georgette Heyer.

Today, I live on the family ranch in the Cascade foothills of Washington state in what was once a summer vacation cabin. I usually write at night after a long day on the ranch. Some days are longer and harder than others, so I’m happy when I manage five days of writing in a week. As a substitute school teacher, I love the school breaks but I’m just as busy, since there are 37 horses to look after, along with other assorted animals.

You can learn more about Josie on her website.

VOLUNTEERING – THE WAY THE INTROVERT KICKS SAND IN THE FACE OF SHYNESS WHILE GOING ‘NEENER NEENER’

Hello, my name is Danielle Monsch, and I am an introvert. (Please ignore the hysterical laughter coming from my Romance Writers of America chapter mates who cannot believe those words actually passed my lips, or more accurately, were typed by my fingers.)

“Why the disbelief?” those of you who do not know me are probably asking right now.

The answer is, kinda because I’m everywhere. Every time someone enters an RWA meeting in the Seattle area, I’m there, blabbing in front about something. One chapter I’m VP of, the other I’m helping the Emerald City Writers Conference as the Asst. Conference chair. Both of these are high profile jobs, and between the two, I’m constantly running around, answering peoples questions, contacting speakers and locations – you name it, I’m dealing with it.

Rather begs the question, can someone who claims to be an introvert really do all that?

Well you see, it is exactly because I’m an introvert that I decided to do all this. Let me explain…

My natural inclination is to sit in a corner. If you leave me alone, roots might start growing around me because I don’t tend to move around and socialize much. Sad, I know, but true.

Now, far be it from me to burst any bubbles, but being an author involves more than sitting in front of your computer typing out a book. Wait, I take that back, being an author involves exactly that… but being a published author, not so much. You have to get out there. This business is all about relationships, your name known to the right person at the right time, so that they look on with interest at your Masterpiece that is in front of them.

People knowing your name, well, that cannot happen if you are sitting in a corner.
This is why I highly recommend all you introverts get out there and volunteer for your writing organizations. Volunteering forces you to do what does not come naturally – mingle and chat. It gives you a job to focus on. It forces you to talk, to learn, to network, to be open and engaging and make sure that needs are met on all sides. You don’t have a choice in the matter.

In many ways, volunteering is the perfect solution to the introverted personality.
So, have I convinced you to seriously consider volunteering, perhaps calling up your chapter board right now to see what you can do? Excellent, but as a quick word of warning, please keep these helpful hints in mind…

Don’t over-volunteer -- This is surprisingly easy to do, and I admit, bit me on the backside this year. This position sounds fun, they are really in a bind over here… before you know it, you have to cut things out of your everyday life to make sure you have the time to do your volunteer work… and what is the first thing that usually goes when we are short on time? Exactly, the writing. Obviously, not good, since one of the reasons to do this volunteer thing is to support your writing career. One thing you must keep in your head always is writing is first, then whatever time you have left over you can figure out how to use for volunteering. Don’t cut into your writing time.

Behave Professionally – Yes, you are giving up a lot of time and are not being paid, and yes, you will not like everyone that volunteers with you, or you will disagree on how to do things. Still, don’t act like a spoiled child and whine that not everything is exactly your way, or act entitled and believe everyone needs to jump at your words, never mind they are all volunteering themselves. Definitely don’t write a negative email about someone, because in a volunteer organization, you never know who has access to which email addresses, and the person you are mouthing off over just might have access to that email. Behave exactly as you would if you were in your place of employment. Remember, memories are long, especially about bad stuff.

Don’t volunteer more than one step above your comfort level – One step above comfort is fine, in fact, you should probably aim for that; overcoming our limitations is how we as people grow. However, if being behind the ‘Help’ desk is a big deal for you, don’t let someone talk you into running a conference. If they don’t have a position to fit you, don’t be afraid to say no. I guarantee, eventually they will need help with a project that is just your speed.

Don’t volunteer if the only reason you are volunteering is to network – Have I confused you with this one? I said you should volunteer to overcome the introvert’s inclination to sit in the corner, and you should, I stand by that. I also said that you should look at volunteering as a wonderful way to network, and I stand by that as well. People give a lot up while volunteering, so expecting a little back in goodwill and name recognition is not a lot to ask by any means, and no one should feel guilty for taking these into account.

The thing is, if these benefits are the ONLY reason you are volunteering and you have absolutely positively no interest at all in the helping out aspect of volunteering, then you are going to become miserable, as are the people around you. Volunteering is always more work than you originally think it will be, and if you don’t truly want the position, that will become evident very quickly. Your job either won’t be getting done or it will be slipshod work at best, which leads to people taking up your slack and working a lot harder than they had to, which means bad feelings all around before long.

Those happy networking feelings in such circumstances – not going to happen. So please, only volunteer if the job appeals to you and you will be happy doing it, at least on some level.

I truly believe in volunteering. Organizations such as RWA cannot survive without volunteers, and I believe in giving back when you can to places that help you out. That being said, getting an opportunity to overcome your shyness and help your career WHILE doing a worthy service, life just does not get much better than that.

~~~~~~~~~~
Danielle Monsch is the host of the podcast ‘Romantically Speaking’ which is available on iTunes! She is also VP of Eastside RWA and the Assistant Conference Chair of Emerald City Writers Conference, held every October in Seattle WA. She is also currently ‘pre-published’ (such a fancy phrase for saying “Not yet sold a book!”) - but she’s working on it.
Contact her at Dani@DanielleMonsch.com or visit her at the following places: website www.DanielleMonsch.com, twitter www.twitter.com/DaniMonsch, or Facebook www.facebook.com/DanielleMonsch

Leave Me at Home

Please help me welcome author Mysti Holiday. Mysti is a very busy SAHM who dreams of warm climates and hot bodies. Most people know she writes, but not what she writes about: sexy men and the wanton women who love them. She's married to a wonderful man who happily sacrifices himself for research, and she spends most of her days dreaming of interesting and unusual situations in which to place her characters. But most of all, she's a sucker for a happy ending. Mysti's erotic romance, SHUT UP AND KISS ME, is available now from The Wild Rose Press. Visit Mysti on her blog, The Menagerie.

HERE'S MYSTI: I have a confession to make... something most folks simply wouldn’t believe.

I’m painfully shy. Shy to the point of being incapacitated.

What? Why are you laughing? Just because I talk to everyone I see, just because I have no problem with public speaking or getting up on stage, and I can even sing in front of people, you don’t believe I’m shy?

I am.

Every time I face new situations, I die a little inside. When I meet new people, I’m terrified. But, the fact is, new stuff is a fact of life. So I can either sit in my house with the curtains drawn and suck my thumb, or I can figure out how to deal with it. Because besides being shy, I’m also stubborn.

Here’s how I learned.

From my earliest memories, I can remember performing. In kindergarten I was in drama and playing the Empress of China ( I still remember one of my lines: “Rise, my subjects.” *G*). In sixth grade, I learned how to play basketball so I could hang out with my secret crush (he was the basketball star ... and I asked him to teach me), and I learned so well I ended up captaining the team. In seventh grade I learned how to juggle. In ninth, I joined choir and drama. As an adult, I took speech classes and worked as a bartender. I’ve always been in the public eye and it’s easy to do.

You know why? Because when I’m the captain of the basketball team or the Empress of China, I’m not ME. Me is shy. Me is terrified of new people and sits in a corner and cries when she’s expected to go outside her comfort zone (which is pretty much anything and everything). The Empress of China is confident and proud and secure. She drapes herself over Me and shows her how it’s done. Me happily stands aside and lets the Empress, or the Captain or the Bartender take over.

It’s make believe that lets me do it. I’m a terrifically private person and very few people know anything about me. They may think they know, but they don’t. They know about the Empress or the Captain or the Bartender, but Me is carefully buried in a place where she can cringe when the Bartender greets a new customer and carries on a conversation, or when the Empress stands on stage and says her lines.

It’s my version of picturing the audience in their underwear. I just become someone else, and it protects Me.

Think about it. Everyone does it. When you dress for work in a business suit, or put on your hooker red lipstick to give yourself confidence, you’re becoming someone else. You’re using props to create a new persona to help you get through an uncomfortable situation. Why not do that all the time?

Today, wear your confident author persona and push through. You CAN do a book signing. You CAN read an excerpt of your work to a group of ladies at your local library. Just pull out the confident author and put her one. Leave Me at home where she’s happiest.

Give it a shot. What do you have to lose?