Starting WEEK 3 of the ARTIST'S WAY

First, my check in from Week 2.

Morning Pages? Yes, I did them daily. I am trying to be more positive in them rather than using them as a bitch session. They are still somewhat of a glorified To Do list, though. I spend so much time day dreaming in the pages, talking about all the things I want to do and should do. What I need is a little less talk, and a lot more action (love that song BTW).

Artist Date? Sort of. I went for a drive the and listened to an old RWA workshop on tape--It's my process and I'll cry if I want to...by Jane Porter and Lillian Darcy. This is a great workshop that really spoke to me. Jane and Lillian talked about how their processes suck, how most authors' processes suck. And they go on to explain why. And I was set free LOL, because MY process sucks. I keep trying to change my writing process, but no matter what I do to it, it's a hot mess. But somehow, some way, I always seem to end up with a pretty good product. Maybe I just need to accept that writing does NOT come easily to me, that writing a first draft is NOT fun, and get over myself. Eh?

Any other issues? I have actually been writing every day consistently. Some days for just 15 minutes (I use a timer--that's my minimum time committment). But I still tend to put off my writing until the end of the day when I'm tired and would rather be reading a good book rather than writing a shitty one... Oh, that's being negative, isn't it?

Week 3: Recovering a Sense of Power
It's about listening to our anger. "In the recovery of a blocked artist, anger is a sign of breath," says Julia Cameron. She says if we really think about it, we can usually figure out what our anger is trying to tell us.

My anger is telling me to quit being a dumbass. I'm angry at myself for wasting so much time. If I spent half the time writing that I do THINKING about writing, I'd have much more to show for it. I'm also angry at myself for all the times I've been envious of other writers' successes. It's not those other writers I'm mad at--it's me. And I'm not jealous--to me, that implies I begrudge them their success. I don't. If they worked hard, they deserve to succeed. But I worked hard for YEARS and didn't reach the level of success I desire. So yes, I'm envious. But I let my pity party evolve into a huge blockage, and now I'm not doing what it takes to succeed. As I said earlier, time to get over myself.

This chapter also talks about synchronicity, my favorite thing. Synchronicity is simply answered prayers/dreams. When a door closes, somewhere God/the universe opens a window. You just have to be looking for that open window. And you also need to be willing to go through that open window.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this week. I'm more hopeful about my writing than I have been in a long time, so that's a good thing. And I'm also getting the itch to paint/draw again and play the piano...