Artist's Way Week 2

One week down, eleven to go. I'm glad there are a lot of weeks left, because I need a lot of help. :)

First, I'll start with my check in for Week 1. I did my morning pages every day. I can't imagine a morning without them. I tried really hard to not make them a glorified To Do list. I tried to actually write about issues I was having, and to write about my WIP and problems I'm having with it. By the end of the week, I'd figured some things out with my WIP. Which is good. Was it enough to get me writing every day? Uh, no.

I didn't really go on an Artist's Date, because the definition of an AD says it must be done alone. I did, however, go to three Oscar-nominated movies and watched the Academy Awards last night. Those are all artsy endeavors. Did I do them alone? No. Do they count as Artist's Dates? This week, they do.

I did most of the tasks. I didn't like the ones about our creative monsters in our pasts, so I didn't put much effort into those. I don't know why I resisted these. It probably means those are the tasks I need to do most...

I really liked all the information in Chapter 1 about positive self talk. I try to pound this into the heads of my personal training clients (I'm a personal fitness trainer in my day job)--if you're mean to yourself and put yourself down, you'll never reach your goals. Do I practice what I preach? No. So I've written affirmations most days and try to remember to read them throughout the day. Is it working? Not yet. I'm the meanest person I know...to myself. Not good.

Week 2 is about recovering a sense of identity. I'm looking forward to it.

How are you doing? Any breakthroughs or realizations? I'd love to hear.

Have a great week 2!

Stepping Out There: A Guide For Shy Writers

by Judith Ashley

Thanks, Rebecca, for having me here today as your guest at Once Written, Twice Shy. I’m going to share a process for shy writers who want to more easily and effortlessly ‘step out there’.

People who know me don’t always believe I am a shy person. Why is that? Because they see me ‘stepping out there’ - in front of people, doing workshops, speaking to groups, approaching others and striking up conversations. Because they know my professional background as a child protective service worker and emergency responder for adults and people with disabilities, they assume I’m not shy and it’s easy for me to ‘step out there’. However, in some situations I am a consummately shy person.

How can you ‘step out there’ if you’re shy? 
In some ways it’s easy. None of us are any one thing all of the time. Our roles shift constantly. One minute we’re writing, the next we’re parenting. One minute we’re an employee, the next we’re interacting with a customer. There are times and places where we are ‘stepping out there’ and anyone who saw us would not believe we’re shy.

1. What would be different for you if you did not see yourself as shy? How would your life be better?
2. Where in your life have you ever been Outgoing? Dynamic? Assertive?

3. How does being shy ‘serve’ you? What benefit is there for you to see yourself as ‘shy’?

I’ll answer the last question from my point of view. I come from the perspective that all behavior/choices are purposeful. And, in general terms our choices either support something we want or protect us from something we don’t want. I really do not like people to see me as incompetent (not that anyone really wants to be seen that way but for some of us, it is more important to be seen as competent than it is for others).

Being ‘shy’ is protective. I can be shy until I know the situation, the people well enough to feel safe, to let them know that I’m not always so on top of things. I can size up the other people, compare myself to them, see where I fit in, and then step forward. If I’m challenged, “I’m just shy” explains it all.

If we want to change anything in our life, it’s important to understand how our life will be better when we are successful. (It’s impossible to successfully change anything if we think our life will be worse). Here are a couple of questions to help you inventory your ‘shyness quotient’.

A. Why do you think you’re shy? 
B. What specifically do you do when you are shy? 
C. What are you thinking at your shyest?

D. What are your emotional feelings?

E. How does being ’shy’ show up in your body? (Tip: blush, sweaty palms, etc.).

 F. On a scale of 1 – 10 rate your desire to change.
If your desire to change is an 8 or higher, your chance of success is high. You have the internal motivation to do something different. It isn’t that you can’t succeed if you’ve a 7 – it’s just you’ll work harder because of your own doubts that this is the path you want to be on.

In the end, there is nothing wrong with being shy. If you like where you are, then you should stay there. You may find that being shy helps you in new situations and that as time passes, you are less shy.

With more and more emphasis on doing your own promotion, from time to time, you’ll need to face people, especially when you are published and at a book signing. If you are truly shy and in looking back over your life there is no time, place, or situation where you are not shy, then you may want to seriously consider hiring someone to do all of your promotion for you. However, if you see glimmers or even periods of time when you were not shy, then read on and make your plan.

Below are a few tips to assist you in stepping out there.
A. Think of times in your life when you have successfully stepped out there, been assertive, dynamic. What was going on then? How can you replicate some if not most of that situation in the present? Pay attention to what you were thinking and doing at those times.

B. Give yourself a goal, something to strive for so you know you’ve been successful. It could be as simple as introducing yourself to someone new or passing out your business cards at a meeting, conference, or grocery store. (I keep them in my purse so when someone asks me what I do, I whip a card out. I’ve passed them out at coffee shops, my doctor’s office, and shops).

C. And, have a reward for yourself when you do step out there. What do you want enough to take the risk? I often treat myself to a ‘day off’ where I don’t have to meet anyone.

D. Have a plan for taking care of yourself if you are overwhelmed. A trip to the Ladies Room for a time out, stepping outside the room and taking a deep breath, pacing a hallway, looking for a friendly face (it is okay to pair up with someone and try these things out).

Most important? Make sure you remind yourself of the long term dream you support when you are ‘stepping out there’.www.JudithAshleyRomance.com

www.RomancingTheGenres.blogspot.com

 www.RomanceFromTheGenre-istas.blogspot.com

 www.JudithAshley.blogspot.com

© 2012 Judith Ashley All Rights Reserved

Q & A with GENIE GABRIEL

Thanks for being here today, Genie. Would you please share a short bio about yourself?
Thank you, Rebecca, for having me as a guest! I grew up in a small town--though not as small as the fictional town of Halo in my LEGACY series. When I moved to the city in search of better jobs, I took a lot of small town expectations with me. Once in the city, I spent twenty years working for the state social service agency, where I became fascinated with the question of why some people who experience unspeakable trauma crumble and others come through triumphantly stronger. Exploring this question--as well as my passion for writing romance--became the basis for my stories, starring heroes and heroines who overcome great difficulties and find true love.

Do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person?

Though I've learned to be sociable for a limited time, I'd definitely choose staying home with my doggies over attending a party. Which is kind of a contradiction, because I truly enjoy talking to people once I'm out in public. Go figure!

In what ways has being shy or introverted hindered your writing career?

I also have perfectionist tendencies. An introverted perfectionist--what a combination! Having these personality traits made me very cautious about sharing my work. What if it wasn't good enough? What if I forgot to cross a "t" or dot an "i"? What if I repeated the same word three times on one page? It was years before I felt confident enough to share my work with a critique partner and even longer to submit my work to a publisher. Fourteen years from first writers' meeting to a sale, but then I sold three full-length novels and two novellas very quickly, as well as being contracted for nine books in my LEGACY series, which started March 1.

In what ways has being shy or introverted helped your writing career?

I'm slower to jump on the latest "hot" story--which would be out-of-favor by the time I finished writing it anyway. So I've focused on stories I love and, being an introvert, I'm quite happy sitting at home alone and writing.

What’s the hardest part of this business for you? Hands down, it's jumping on the social media bandwagon. I have a Facebook page, but it's woefully out of date. Friends have offered to help me with this, but it's an abyss I keep backing away from. Unfortunately, when I would like to support others by "liking" them or retweeting, I don't know how! That's become embarrassing, so figuring out the social media maze is quickly rising to the top of my "to do" list.

Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life?

I'm going to cheat and give you more than one: Moving from my small hometown where everyone knows your business to a city of over 100,000 people where I knew no one. Sharing my writing with critique partners. Submitting my stories to a publisher. Pitching a story to an editor in person--that was waaaay out of my comfort zone.

What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you?

I'll pass on what I've heard from others, "Fake it until you make it." I don't mean be phony, but take a deep breath and step into who you want to be until it's not so uncomfortable. If you want to speak in front of people without passing out, find a topic you're passionate about, make sure your research is solid, practice in front of a mirror or with a couple of friends, pray like crazy, and do it!

Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it?

The most serious crime in small town Halo, Oregon, is one of its citizens "borrowing" a gorilla costume from an abandoned store. Until unconventional caseworker Marly O'Shea comes to town looking for the birth mother of a stolen child. Her search stirs up secrets long buried, and tangles Deputy Dawson Browning in personal and professional knots. As he works to stop the revenge of a beast-man who is supposed to be dead, he also faces challenges to a relationship with Marly from her seven overly protective brothers.

Available now!

Rogue Phoenix Press|Amazon|Barnes & Noble

Where can my readers find you on the web?
My main online hangouts right now are my website  or my LEGACYblog.

Once again, many thanks to Rebecca for having me as a guest. And if you stop by my LEGACY blog and leave a comment, you'll be entered to win a $25.00 gift card in a drawing on March 23. Hope to see many of you there!