Recovering a Sense of Possibility
I apologize for my hiatus. My husband had major surgery and it kind of threw me for a loop. So if there’s any time I need a creative recovery, it’s now. Anyway, I hope to be back on my weekly or sort-of-weekly schedule of going through this program.
This past week we were supposed to examine our payoffs to remaining stuck. Julia Cameron said most of us have a limited notion to what we are able to accomplish. I’d agree with this. Lately, with my focus elsewhere and not on my writing, I don’t believe I can write at all. So I haven’t even tried.
Cameron suggests we look to our higher power (whatever that is for us) for help, saying that we must not set a limit on how much He can help us or give us. Here’s the thing, while I’m not a religious person, I am spiritual. And I’ve prayed every night for my husband’s healing. I haven’t thought to pray for my creative recovery—it sounds so trite and trivial in comparison. But perhaps I shouldn’t limit my beliefs to thinking I’m asking for too much.
Cameron says we need to stop discounting our dreams, and not be afraid to ask for help, guidance, abundance. Hmm. That’ll be hard for me, given my circumstances now, but I will try. I will try to be open to opportunities and at least try to write again.
She also says we must have downtime to do nothing. That withdrawal from others is a necessity to an artist. If we deprive ourselves of this, we feel “vexed, angry, out of sorts.” I can relate to this. I have had no time to myself for weeks. I don’t begrudge my husband or the situation, but I guess it makes sense then that I have no creative well to draw from when I barely have time to myself to think. I will work on this. I will try to tend a bit more to my needs as I’m tending to his.
So… no major revelations this week. If my life wasn’t so topsy turvy right now, I would have really enjoyed this week’s exercises and readings. I’m going to assume my subconscious is taking in all Cameron’s advice to use sometime in the future.
Morning pages: Except for the few days I stayed at the hospital with my hubby, I have done these religiously. In fact, I believe they’re what have kept me somewhat sane.
Artist Date: Ummm, not really. I have been coloring in my adult coloring book, which I find enjoyable and meditative. I feel guilty coloring for more than a few minutes at a time, but some is better than none, right?
Any synchronicity this week? If there was, I wasn’t paying attention. LOL. Maybe next week…