Monday, April 18, 2011

RACHEL FIRASEK:Grab Life!

Please help me welcome author Rachel Firacek to the blog.


The last time I was here, I posted about my BFF and how she’s helped push me into the writing world. Today, I’d like to talk about someone even more dear to me. My husband.


But, I have to give you the backstory first. I grew up very poor. We lived in a two bedroom trailer--there were four of us--and shared a lot with another trailer and a large old plantation house. So, not quite a trailer park, but it backed up to one. Our landlords were super nice people and I remember picking up pecans in their orchard for hours on end to earn .50 cents. My brother and I would walk to the corner store and buy one pop and one candy bar. We’d split it and be in heaven. I was seven at the time.

Yeah, I’d never let my kids walk down the street now. LOL. It was a different time. So anyways, as the years progressed, Dad’s job stabilized and his pay grew. We moved twice before my parents finally became home-owners in a fairly decent neighborhood--kind of. We still managed on just my father’s income, but not by much. There was never much money left after bills, so we lived on coupons and hand-me-downs. It was a sad life, just very different than the one I live now.

So, where am I going with this? Because of our limited means, we never ate out. Never. I was fifteen before I went to a McDonald’s for the first time. Seriously. It was 1993. I never went to the movies. Never went to the mall. Never did any of the things that the other kids my age did. I mostly stayed at home, helped my mom, listened to music and read.

Then a man danced into my life and changed all that. I’ll never forget the first time my husband took me out to eat. I sat there picking at my food, worrying that the entire room was watching me. He kept glancing at my plate. “Why aren’t you eating?”

I leaned forward. “Everyone can see me.”

He sat back in his chair. “So? We can see all of them, too.”

“I don’t feel so, well.” My stomach churned and bile rose in my throat. Anxiety doubled me over and I almost lost it right there in the middle of the restaurant.

My husband sighed, packed my plate up and got me out of there. We had a long talk that night about my phobias. And with a firm tone, he told me, “Rachel, if this is going to work, you have to get over this. I’m a social person. I won’t stay at home all the time and hide from life.”

And that was exactly what I was doing. Hiding from life. My shyness was taking my life and leaving me empty. Don’t hide from life. It finds you and then you’re not ready for it. I’m thankful that I’ve had some really special people help me get around myself.

Do you have a special person that helps you get through hard times? Share something about them with us!

Also, before I forget. Some of the other CMP authors are getting together for a mass giveaway. We’re pooling our blogs for today and one winner will win all four of our ebooks. So please leave a comment here and then slide over to Traci Bell’s Blog: http://tracibell.blogspot.com/ We’ll announce the winner’s on Wednesday. I’ll be sure to let Rebecca know who won!

Rachel’s writing career began at the impressionable age of twelve with a poem dedicated to the soldiers of Desert Storm. A dark macabre affair that earned her a publication in an anthology and many raised eyebrows from family and friends, she hid her poetry and artistic style for years…

Tucked away in the heart of Central Texas, with the loving support of her husband and three children, she dusted the cobwebs from her craft. Returning to those twisted regions of her mind, she creates dark urban fantasies and soul-searching paranormal romance.

To learn where love twists the soul and lights the shadows, visit Rachel at http://www.rachelfirasek.com/

22 comments:

  1. Good for you, Rachel, for pushing yourself out there. How lucky are you, to have such a partner in your corner?!?!

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  2. Please remember to share your heartrendering family story with your children. Your husband sounds truly special.
    I had a meager childhood too, for $5, I worked all summer in a hot and dusty hayfield. I married very late in life. My husband had the patience to work through all of my barriers which wasn't easy for him, but I'm so glad he did! My hubby is still my leaning post.

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  3. Rachel, your hubby sounds like a fabulous man. I love that story about the first time he took you to a restaurant. You really should write a shy character and put that scene in a book.

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  4. Ah, you gals are great! Traci, thanks, I consider myself very lucky!

    Susan, I knew there was something I loved about you! I think we're two peas in a pod, you and I. lol

    Rebecca, intersting that you should say that. I'm working on one now. :)

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  5. My Dad was that one person who helped me get through the hard times and give me great advise. My marriage was never good but he would never tell me to leave him, always said i would know the right thing to do when it was the right time. I finally left him and met the wonderful man my bestfriend, soulmate that i have today, I get sad sometimes because i wish he would have been alive to meet the wonderful new person in my life, Dad passed away 1 1/2 after I did all of this, I guess you could say he knows and showed me the path to my boyfriend who is now the amazing person who helps me through the hard times as i do him. I love your story Rachel its wonderful to have such a man by your side :)

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  6. Rachel, what a fascinating insight, I bet you are more appreciative of the good things in life as a result. Your husband sounds like a great match for you. I am introverted too, and the more you learn to break the ice gradually, you grow so much.

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  7. Rachel, you're brave and strong and very wise. You know I'm totally with you on that whole "Don't Hide from Life" thing. I say grab it by the b*lls and yank as hard as you can. :-)

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  8. Rachel, I know how you felt, I would stop before entering any room with alot of people in it. Scared me to death! My husband had to coax me in and he would stay at my side and help me relax the whole time. It has been 31 years now, and he still supports me whenever the panic bug hits me, and thankfully that is not to often now, but you know you have someone special when they can put everything aside and just be there for you. We are very lucky women, all of us!

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  9. Rachel,

    You are so amazing, my friend. Authors put pieces of themselves out in the world through their books, but this article is very peronal. You inner strength shines through in everything you write...blogs, articles, or novels!

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  10. Nattie, you've been blessed with two great men. Hold on to the new one, they're a rare breed. Thanks for sharing your story with us today!

    Catherine, I'm very appreciative of my life now and even then. I'm not sure of who I'd be now if I hadn't had such a rough start. You are so right about breaking the ice. It's the baby-steps that push us forward.

    Kendall, you crack me up. I heart you big-time, girl. Balls and all!

    Jo Ann, thanks for sharing. I have to have my hand-hold, too. Special men for special women. *sigh*

    Renee, thank you so much. That means a lot to me. It's hard to put yourself out there, but I'm safe behind my laptop. lol. I'm 33 years on this planet and still fighting to find myself. These posts are helping.

    You all have made a very personal post easier to share. Thank you for that!

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  11. I'll share a more amazing piece of this story with everyone because I know you won't mind: It didn't make you bitter or angry. Yes, life dealt you (us) some hard knocks, but you chose to focus on the positive and let it make you the person you are.
    And one more tid bit girls: Her man really is a great guy!!!

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  12. My wife and my writer friends are giving me the courage to tackle life by the horns and go after what I really want out of life. I'm not going out without a fight now at this point! Thanks for sharing!

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  13. Ah, everyone, Autumn is my BFF that I highlighted the last time I was here. We've only known each other for a little over a year, but she's fast become a stable necessity in my life. Hugs to you!

    Jeffrey,surround yourself with those kind of people. In this business, we need them. Thanks for sharing.

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  14. I'm not very social myself. I usually have to make myself socialize. My youngest daughter drags me out and makes me interact with people. She is very outgoing. My oldest daughter is kind of like me, she doesn't socialize much either.

    seriousreader at live dot com

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  15. Don't hide from life. Great advice. Great post, Rachel!

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  16. Linda, I'm glad that you have your daughter. There are compliments in every relationship, I'm sure there's a reason you have your social butterfly!

    Lynn, thanks. I'm trying to live that way!

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  17. I'm an introvert who had to become extroverted because my mother was and everyone expected me to be just like her, which meant they all talked to me like we were old friends, and I had to pretend to be comfortable with it. So I guess it would be my mom who helped me with it, just by watching her. My husband is more of an introvert than I am!

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  18. Shannon, bless your heart. Well, thankfully you did have someone around that you could mimic because your husband will need the skills you've learned to help him along. Pass on the love.

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  19. Rachel,

    You are very blessed to have a husband who cared enough to help you get over your phobia. I think he knew you were the one and was willing to fight with you on this one.

    I don't think it's so much a phobia. I think it's more like our parents sheltered us so much. Being Native American the village helped raise the children, because of this we were kept away and wasn't told about the dangers that could happen to us.

    I was five years old when my parents moved away. My father was in the Navy. We moved to VA and my father was sent to sea immediately after the move. My mom went to work part time.

    My mother friended a older gentleman with children his oldest boy in high school. They had horses,ponies, ducks, goats, all kind of animals. To us kids it was like going to the zoo. At the time I didn't realize my mom was seeing this man. They would have his oldest son take me out and see the horses. I trusted this young man and listen to him because he was older.

    He molested me more than once. He would tell me not to say anything or I couldn't see the horses ever again. I didn't tell. It wasn't until I lost my virginity that anyone knew what was going on. And even then, it was not talked about. I was never allowed to be alone with him again and eventually we moved.
    Even after everything I've been through no one talked about. And again it happened. You start believing that your causing all this because you dont understand.

    It wasn't until my adoptive mother Annie came along. My mom is Mohawk Indian from the Akwasaunee reservation. She taught me to love my self. It has taken me over 35 years for this to happen. Mamma Annie was abused and she recognized what was happening to me. Why I was introverted in someways and very promiscuis in other ways.
    I never could ever have a romantic relationship. I have a child and I wouldn't change that in a trillion million years. He's a wonderful 23 yr old young man. He's a great guy.

    Mamma Annie said in order to have a relationship with anyone I've got to forgive myself, and love me. She's right. I'm learning that I'm a beautiful woman with so much love to give. I wouldn't have know this if it wasn't for her. She's my friend, teacher, confidente, and my chosen mom.

    Thank you Rachel for allowing me to share this.
    Teresa K.
    tcwgrlup41(at)yahoo.com

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  20. Teresa, thanks so much for opening yourself up like this. That couldn't have been easy. Good for you.

    :)Becky

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  21. Teresa, I'm sorry that I didn't get back to this sooner. I'm an emotional wreck after reading this. I think you and I have shared some similar life problems, we'll have to connect sometimes and push each other along. I'm glad that you had her in your corner and that she was smart enough to recognize the symptoms. Believe in yourself and don't let life pass you by over history that shouldn't have happened. If you even need a pick me up, let me know. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.

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  22. LINDA HENDERSON is the winner of the free books. Yay, Linda! Rachel emailed you the news, but if you didn't get it, let me know here and I'll contact her for you.

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