Guidelines to Online Networking

Please help me welcome C.J. Redwine to Once Written, Twice Shy. C.J. writes edgy urban fantasy with a side of comic relief and is repped by Holly Root of the Waxman Literary Agency. She runs a fun and fabulous blog where she writes about ninjas, awesome books and Zombie Goats, and teaches online query writing workshops and is a "professor" at Romance University.

Here's C.J.--I have a confession to make: I’m an outgoing introvert. This means I can comfortably hold my own with strangers if I must, can make conversation with anyone if called upon, and don’t mind sometimes being the life of the party. As long as the party doesn’t last too long.

Unlike an outgoing extrovert, the time I spend with people drains me. For every one hour I spend being “on” around others, I need at least an hour to myself to recharge unless I wish to treat the world to the spectacle of a girl waltzing into her local Ben & Jerry’s with a sketchy plan to abscond with all the inventory or go out in a blaze of glory trying.

I’m an introvert, but I’m also a writer trying to effectively brand herself online using the free platforms of blogging and social networking. Sometimes finding the balance between building community online and hoarding my scant time to myself can be difficult. So, how do I connect with others effectively without losing what’s left of my sanity? By following a few simple guidelines.

C.J.’s Guidelines To Online Networking
Or
How To Not Commit A Felony At Ben & Jerry’s

Set Time Limits: Let’s face it. As introverts, every interaction costs us something. Often, we pay the price willingly because we’re interested, we’re friends, or we know it’s something we need to do. But add up all those small interactions and before you know it, you’re exhausted, and Ben & Jerry’s starts to look like heaven, or close enough. I’ve found a good way to handle social interaction is to check in two or three times a day. The same goes for my email account and my blog comments. By setting aside times to handle all of the necessary interaction, I give myself permission to unplug for hours at a time.

Narrow The Field: Blogger. Live Journal. Wordpress. Goodreads. Facebook. Twitter. Myspace. The options for social networking are myriad, and trying to be an effective participant in too many forums will not only drive you batty, it will devour time better spent writing. I choose to spend my time on my blog and with the community I’m building with writers and readers on Twitter. I have a Facebook page, but only check in once a week for less than ten minutes. I find by having only two sites requiring my focus, I’m able to more effectively network and build my brand.

Know Your Boundaries: I’ve found that being accessible is one of the fastest ways to build community online. The problem, of course, is that I don’t want to be too accessible. It’s bad enough I just admitted to considering committing a felony over ice cream. Do you really want to know the things I’ve chosen to hold back? I didn’t think so. I dealt with this by setting boundaries for what I would and would not share about myself and my life online. I don’t have to be an open book. I just have to be accessible to the degree that I’m welcoming and interactive with others. I’m fiercely private about the things I’ve decided not to put out there for public consumption.

Keep A Notebook Handy: Let’s face it. As introverts, some days we want to crawl under the covers, grab a pan of brownies, and watch a Harry Potter marathon rather than say one word to anyone. It can be a problem when your I-sort-of-despise-the-world day falls on the same day you need to post a blog, update your Twitter feed once or twice, and interact with others without strongly suggesting they move to Antarctica and leave you and your brownies in peace. I’ve found that keeping a notebook with me at all times (I carry a small one EVERYWHERE) is my lifesaver. Any time I see or hear something funny or interesting, I jot it down. When I hit an I’d-rather-stick-a-fork-in-my-eye-than-blog day, I pull out my list, grab an item or two, and start writing. Having a ready supply of stories or interesting things to say takes the pressure off!

Cut the Crazy: Social networking attracts all types, and some people out there will ping your inner crazy meter. Really. You’ll run into those people who just drain the life out of you. Who demand things that cross your boundaries. Who make you feel like you need to back away. There’s no need to spend your emotional reserve on someone who causes your left eye to twitch. You don’t have to network with everyone who wants to. I’ve learned to be respectful but firm. My priority is to remain energized for my family and my writing. An online acquaintance who jeopardizes my ability to do so no longer gets my attention.

So, there you have it. Some basic guidelines I use to make my online interactions interesting, easier to handle, and—dare I say it?—fun. Step away from the ice cream case, and enjoy social networking on your own terms.