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Well, I have three weeks of AW under my belt now. If you've joined me, how are you doing?
Week 3 Check-in:
Morning pages? Yes. Every single day. At least 3 pages. Sometimes more. They're still mostly a running To Do list of things I "should" do or want to do, but I'm working on writing about my WIP, trying to work through plot issues, setting goals, etc.
I did write a lot about one of Week 3's topics: anger. I am very angry with myself. Angry for wasting so much time these past few years, thinking and talking more about writing than actually writing. Spending time trying to build my blogs/FB/Twitter followings when I should be spending that time writing. In an ideal world, I could do it all, but it's not an ideal world. I'm not organized enough to do it all.
Artist Date? Yes, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd expected to. I spent an hour at the local dollar store, going up and down every aisle looking for bargains. I did find some bargains, but I had to force myself not to speedwalk through the store. Felt like a waste of time.
Synchronicity? Well, in an un-writing-related thing, every day I drive over the railroad tracks to get to work. And every day, I think to myself as I'm swerving to avoid the mega pothole against the metal rails, "I sure wish the city would fix this." Well, early last week, I said that aloud, rather than to myself, and on the way home that very day, there was a road crew working to fill the hole. So...I guess that's synchronicity, eh? I'd prefer some with my writing, but there you go. Maybe there's been some and I've been too dense to see it...
Did I do all/any of the tasks? Um, not too many. Only a couple of them "spoke" to me. The other ones I thought were stupid and a waste of time. Which probably means I need them most, but I doubt I'll ever go back and do them.
Any other issues? Yeah. I've realized I belong to certain groups and have certain acquaintances who don't make me feel good about myself and my writing career. It's not necessarily anything they're doing, but how I feel about myself around them. It's my insecurity. Until I deal with that, I'm going to step back from those groups/people.
First, my check in from Week 2.
Morning Pages? Yes, I did them daily. I am trying to be more positive in them rather than using them as a bitch session. They are still somewhat of a glorified To Do list, though. I spend so much time day dreaming in the pages, talking about all the things I want to do and should do. What I need is a little less talk, and a lot more action (love that song BTW).
Artist Date? Sort of. I went for a drive the and listened to an old RWA workshop on tape--It's my process and I'll cry if I want to...by Jane Porter and Lillian Darcy. This is a great workshop that really spoke to me. Jane and Lillian talked about how their processes suck, how most authors' processes suck. And they go on to explain why. And I was set free LOL, because MY process sucks. I keep trying to change my writing process, but no matter what I do to it, it's a hot mess. But somehow, some way, I always seem to end up with a pretty good product. Maybe I just need to accept that writing does NOT come easily to me, that writing a first draft is NOT fun, and get over myself. Eh?
Any other issues? I have actually been writing every day consistently. Some days for just 15 minutes (I use a timer--that's my minimum time committment). But I still tend to put off my writing until the end of the day when I'm tired and would rather be reading a good book rather than writing a shitty one... Oh, that's being negative, isn't it?
Week 3: Recovering a Sense of Power
It's about listening to our anger. "In the recovery of a blocked artist, anger is a sign of breath," says Julia Cameron. She says if we really think about it, we can usually figure out what our anger is trying to tell us.
My anger is telling me to quit being a dumbass. I'm angry at myself for wasting so much time. If I spent half the time writing that I do THINKING about writing, I'd have much more to show for it. I'm also angry at myself for all the times I've been envious of other writers' successes. It's not those other writers I'm mad at--it's me. And I'm not jealous--to me, that implies I begrudge them their success. I don't. If they worked hard, they deserve to succeed. But I worked hard for YEARS and didn't reach the level of success I desire. So yes, I'm envious. But I let my pity party evolve into a huge blockage, and now I'm not doing what it takes to succeed. As I said earlier, time to get over myself.
This chapter also talks about synchronicity, my favorite thing. Synchronicity is simply answered prayers/dreams. When a door closes, somewhere God/the universe opens a window. You just have to be looking for that open window. And you also need to be willing to go through that open window.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to this week. I'm more hopeful about my writing than I have been in a long time, so that's a good thing. And I'm also getting the itch to paint/draw again and play the piano...
One week down, eleven to go. I'm glad there are a lot of weeks left, because I need a lot of help. :)
First, I'll start with my check in for Week 1. I did my morning pages every day. I can't imagine a morning without them. I tried really hard to not make them a glorified To Do list. I tried to actually write about issues I was having, and to write about my WIP and problems I'm having with it. By the end of the week, I'd figured some things out with my WIP. Which is good. Was it enough to get me writing every day? Uh, no.
I didn't really go on an Artist's Date, because the definition of an AD says it must be done alone. I did, however, go to three Oscar-nominated movies and watched the Academy Awards last night. Those are all artsy endeavors. Did I do them alone? No. Do they count as Artist's Dates? This week, they do.
I did most of the tasks. I didn't like the ones about our creative monsters in our pasts, so I didn't put much effort into those. I don't know why I resisted these. It probably means those are the tasks I need to do most...
I really liked all the information in Chapter 1 about positive self talk. I try to pound this into the heads of my personal training clients (I'm a personal fitness trainer in my day job)--if you're mean to yourself and put yourself down, you'll never reach your goals. Do I practice what I preach? No. So I've written affirmations most days and try to remember to read them throughout the day. Is it working? Not yet. I'm the meanest person I know...to myself. Not good.
Week 2 is about recovering a sense of identity. I'm looking forward to it.
How are you doing? Any breakthroughs or realizations? I'd love to hear.
Have a great week 2!
