Week 5:
Recovering a Sense of Possibility
I apologize for my hiatus. My husband had major surgery and
it kind of threw me for a loop. So if there’s any time I need a creative
recovery, it’s now. Anyway, I hope to be
back on my weekly or sort-of-weekly schedule of going through this program.
This past week we were supposed to examine our payoffs to
remaining stuck. Julia Cameron said most of us have a limited notion to what we
are able to accomplish. I’d agree with this. Lately, with my focus elsewhere
and not on my writing, I don’t believe I can write at all. So I haven’t even
tried.
Cameron suggests we look to our higher power (whatever that
is for us) for help, saying that we must not set a limit on how much He can
help us or give us. Here’s the thing, while I’m not a religious person, I am
spiritual. And I’ve prayed every night for my husband’s healing. I haven’t
thought to pray for my creative recovery—it sounds so trite and trivial in
comparison. But perhaps I shouldn’t limit my beliefs to thinking I’m asking for
too much.
Cameron says we need to stop discounting our dreams, and not
be afraid to ask for help, guidance, abundance. Hmm. That’ll be hard for me,
given my circumstances now, but I will try. I will try to be open to
opportunities and at least try to
write again.
She also says we must have downtime to do nothing. That
withdrawal from others is a necessity to an artist. If we deprive ourselves of
this, we feel “vexed, angry, out of sorts.” I can relate to this. I have had no
time to myself for weeks. I don’t begrudge my husband or the situation, but I
guess it makes sense then that I have no creative well to draw from when I
barely have time to myself to think. I will work on this. I will try to tend a
bit more to my needs as I’m tending to his.
So… no major revelations this week. If my life wasn’t so
topsy turvy right now, I would have really enjoyed this week’s exercises and
readings. I’m going to assume my subconscious is taking in all Cameron’s advice
to use sometime in the future.
Weekly Check-in:
Morning pages: Except for the few days I stayed at the
hospital with my hubby, I have done these religiously. In fact, I believe they’re
what have kept me somewhat sane.
Artist Date: Ummm, not really. I have been coloring in my
adult coloring book, which I find enjoyable and meditative. I feel guilty
coloring for more than a few minutes at a time, but some is better than none,
right?
Any synchronicity this week? If there was, I wasn’t paying
attention. LOL. Maybe next week…
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