Conference Jitters for a Shy Writer

Please help me welcome romance author Vivi Andrews. Vivi was born and raised in Alaska and still lives in the Last Frontier when she isn't busy indulging her travel addiction. She writes fun and flirty paranormal romances as well as smoldering shapeshifter stories. For more about Vivi and her books, please visit www.viviandrews.com. Also on her website, you can find details regarding Vivi's "Have a Heart" promotion, supporting the Children's Heart Foundation.

HERE'S VIVI: You know that moment in Wayne’s World where Mike Myers and Dana Carvey fall to their knees and cry “We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!” as they bow to Alice Cooper? That’s how I always feel at writing conferences. One look at some of my writing icons and I turn into a simpering fangirl. I simply cannot think of myself as their peer.

I had a bunch of I’m not worthy moments at the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention in Columbus last month. (There was much gushing “I love your books!” on my part, though thankfully I managed to stop myself from the actually bowing and fawning.)

I find conferences daunting on several levels. I’m nervous around the big authors I admire, I’m spastic around the editors and agents because oh-my-god-they-could-totally-make-my-career-if-they-wanted-to, and at RT there is the added intimidation of the readers – who may or may not have read or be interested in reading my books. It’s enough to make a girl want to hide in her room all week.

The good news is almost everyone at the conferences is just as introverted as I am – so at least I’m in good company. The not-so-good news? I have to muster up the courage to network.

I’m terrible at networking. I love talking about books, but I shudder at the thought that I, as an author, am a commodity I have to sell to editors, agents & readers. Sales has never been my forte. I have a hard time touting my books when more often than not I’m still stunned they got published in the first place. (I’m not one of those confident writers…)

Success at conferences (as I gauge it) involves overcoming my natural instincts. At my very first writing conference, I didn’t know anyone. I’d never been to an RWA meeting or any sort of writing conference. I’d never seen a best-seller or an editor or agent in the flesh. I sidled away from Sherrilyn Kenyon like she might bite me, I clammed up when I realized midway through a fun conversation that I was talking to the Wild and Untamed Agent of the Species, and generally made an idiot of myself in my pitches by being so nervous I could barely breathe. I was tempted more than once to hightail it up to my room and hide.

But I didn’t hide. I sucked it up, fought my flight instinct, and walked up to a table with an empty chair and asked if it was taken. It wasn’t. I sat. Or rather, I huddled there in mute terror until I slowly began to realize the other women around the table were just like me. Aspiring writers, industry pros and devoted lovers of books – especially books of the romance persuasion. They got me.

At that table, I met some of the most wonderful women I’ve had the pleasure to know. I’m still in touch with several of them. I partied with one of them until the wee small hours at RT. They have become my invaluable writing buddies, the best support system a hopeful writer could have, and I would never have met them if I hadn’t manned up enough to take that seat.

These days at conferences I’m better at making myself socialize, though sometimes I still have to fight down the I’m not worthy imposter feeling. But the these people get me feeling that always hits at some point during the conference is worth all my silly jitters.

The moral of the story? Conferences can be terrifying for the shy writer. But if you can get up the guts to crawl out of your shell, the rewards can be amazing. And just remember – your fellow writers are like spiders. They’re just as afraid of you as you are of them.

And if that fails, just picture everyone naked. ;)

Current Release: The Sexorcist
eBook buy link: http://www.mybookstoreandmore.com/the-sexorcist-p-5463.html

Leave Me at Home

Please help me welcome author Mysti Holiday. Mysti is a very busy SAHM who dreams of warm climates and hot bodies. Most people know she writes, but not what she writes about: sexy men and the wanton women who love them. She's married to a wonderful man who happily sacrifices himself for research, and she spends most of her days dreaming of interesting and unusual situations in which to place her characters. But most of all, she's a sucker for a happy ending. Mysti's erotic romance, SHUT UP AND KISS ME, is available now from The Wild Rose Press. Visit Mysti on her blog, The Menagerie.

HERE'S MYSTI: I have a confession to make... something most folks simply wouldn’t believe.

I’m painfully shy. Shy to the point of being incapacitated.

What? Why are you laughing? Just because I talk to everyone I see, just because I have no problem with public speaking or getting up on stage, and I can even sing in front of people, you don’t believe I’m shy?

I am.

Every time I face new situations, I die a little inside. When I meet new people, I’m terrified. But, the fact is, new stuff is a fact of life. So I can either sit in my house with the curtains drawn and suck my thumb, or I can figure out how to deal with it. Because besides being shy, I’m also stubborn.

Here’s how I learned.

From my earliest memories, I can remember performing. In kindergarten I was in drama and playing the Empress of China ( I still remember one of my lines: “Rise, my subjects.” *G*). In sixth grade, I learned how to play basketball so I could hang out with my secret crush (he was the basketball star ... and I asked him to teach me), and I learned so well I ended up captaining the team. In seventh grade I learned how to juggle. In ninth, I joined choir and drama. As an adult, I took speech classes and worked as a bartender. I’ve always been in the public eye and it’s easy to do.

You know why? Because when I’m the captain of the basketball team or the Empress of China, I’m not ME. Me is shy. Me is terrified of new people and sits in a corner and cries when she’s expected to go outside her comfort zone (which is pretty much anything and everything). The Empress of China is confident and proud and secure. She drapes herself over Me and shows her how it’s done. Me happily stands aside and lets the Empress, or the Captain or the Bartender take over.

It’s make believe that lets me do it. I’m a terrifically private person and very few people know anything about me. They may think they know, but they don’t. They know about the Empress or the Captain or the Bartender, but Me is carefully buried in a place where she can cringe when the Bartender greets a new customer and carries on a conversation, or when the Empress stands on stage and says her lines.

It’s my version of picturing the audience in their underwear. I just become someone else, and it protects Me.

Think about it. Everyone does it. When you dress for work in a business suit, or put on your hooker red lipstick to give yourself confidence, you’re becoming someone else. You’re using props to create a new persona to help you get through an uncomfortable situation. Why not do that all the time?

Today, wear your confident author persona and push through. You CAN do a book signing. You CAN read an excerpt of your work to a group of ladies at your local library. Just pull out the confident author and put her one. Leave Me at home where she’s happiest.

Give it a shot. What do you have to lose?

Turning a Negative into a Positive

Please help me welcome the fantastic and inspiring Sharon Donovan to my blog.

Hello! First of all, I’d like to thank Becky for having me here today as her guest. It’s great to be here! The subject at hand seems to be shyness and how to best overcome it. I’m learning that quite a few authors suffer from this phobia, thrusting themselves head first into writing to channel their creative muse. I am one of these authors. I’ll share with you my tale of woe and how I turned the tables around to work for me.

I lost my vision ten years ago to diabetic retinopathy. This condition causes fragile blood vessels to grow and rupture in the back of the eye and can lead to progressive blindness. Diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic at the age of six, a doctor at Children’s Hospital predicted I would be blind before I turned twenty-five. His harsh words haunted my subconscious, affecting every decision I made for years to come. Afraid of life, I became painfully shy, keeping to myself and wondering when it would happen. Where would I be? Should I drive? What if I killed somebody while driving?

These worries screamed in my head on a daily basis to the point of madness. No matter where I went or what I did, there they were. Even though I went on to become a legal secretary at the Court of Common Pleas where I prepared cases for judges in the Family Division, the words played in my head again and again like a broken record. Then one day I discovered a passion for painting, losing myself for hours at a time. No more pain, no more heartache. Peace and tranquility. Painting picturesque scenery became my haven, a place where I could escape those cruel words. Then one day it happened, the initial bout of blindness. For the next two decades, vision came and went. Now you see it—now you don’t. The vicious circle went round and round, pushing me deeper and deeper into a world of loneliness and shyness. Then after one final operation in an attempt to save my vision, I lost the battle.

Devastated, I enrolled in a program for the blind and visually impaired where I underwent a grueling regimen for eight hours a day. But when I was introduced to a computer with adaptive software, converting text to synthesized speech, hope soared for the first time in years. And after a long and winding road, a new dream resurrected. Today, instead of painting my pictures on canvas, I paint my pictures with words.

What happened to the shyness? It’s still at the very core of me. But I’ve learned that sticking your head in the sand will get you nowhere. Once I began asking for help and reaching out, doors opened. And they have continued to open for me in my writing career. It took me a long time to channel my creative muse into a new outlet, but using vivid adjectives in my writing helps keep memories of the four seasons fresh in my head. I invite you to visit my website where you can read excerpts of my books and reviews. You can also see some of the pictures I painted in my art gallery. I write in two very different genres, inspiration and suspense. Why? The answer is quite simple, really. With all I’ve been through in my life, I feel the need to inspire others through my writing. On days when I feel, shall we say, less than inspirational, I run out and kill someone in the wonderful world of fiction. On my blog, I spotlight a different author every Wednesday. Writers might be shy, but shyness needs to burn off so that the work of the author can shine through. I leave you with these words of wisdom and encouragement: Never give up on a dream. Keep pushing through the barriers, the shyness, the rejection letters, the not so wonderful reviews. What it all boils down to is this. We only get one shot at life and have to make every day count.

Sharon Donovan lives in Pittsburgh, PA, with her family. Prior to the loss of her vision, she was a legal secretary for the Court of Common Pleas where she prepared cases for judges in Domestic Relations. She has certificates in business and medical transcription. She is a published author with The Wild Rose Press, White Rose Publishing, Whimsical Publications and Chicken Soup for the Soul. Echo of a Raven is a CTRR recipient, and The Claddagh Ring is a CAPA nominee. To read excerpts and reviews of Sharon’s books and to sign up for her newsletter, visit her website: http://www.sharonadonovan.com/. For the entire month of May, she's running a Zorro Contest to kick off her psychological thriller, Mask of the Betrayer.
www.sharonadonovan.com

Sharon's blog:
http://sharondonovan.blogspot.com If you would like to do a guest appearance, shoot her an email: sharonad@comcast.net

MASK OF THE BETRAYER
AVAILABLE AT WHIMSICAL PUBLICATIONS
On sale for entire month of May
http://www.whimsicalpublications.com/books.html

Embrace Your Inner Sex Goddess

Please help me welcome the lovely and talented Anna Alexander. Anna makes her home in the Seattle area with her two daughters and her overactive imagination. She writes contemporary and paranormal romances that raise the temperature on those grey, rainy Northwest afternoons. Or maybe that’s just the heat coming off the oven as she bakes her infamous cranberry-white chocolate chip cookies. Follow her writing journey at AnnaAlexander.net, Facebook- Anna Alexander, or Twitter- AnnaWriter.

HERE'S ANNA: Family gatherings. No matter whose family it is, the conversation follows a similar pattern. “How’s work?” “What grade are you in now?” “How’s the remodel going?” The question I’m always asked is, “Are you published yet?”

“Not yet,” I respond. “But I was recently named a finalist in the Between the Sheets contest.”

“Great. What is that?”

“Well, I entered a ten page love scene and I was one of the five best.”

“Love scene? Oooo. What was it about?”

“Uh…well…” I can feel my ears burn as my spoonful of vanilla ice cream melts onto the top of Optimus Prime’s chocolate head.

I know for certain that this will not be the last time I encounter such a question. My books contain some fairly racy scenes, and very little is left to the imagination. I foresee a time in the future, after I’ve received the call (see, me being optimistic), when I will be standing in a lovely bookstore chatting with nice people, and someone will approach me and say, “So, you like to tie men up and shave their private areas.”

Regardless of whether I personally enjoy that or not, I wrote that scene, and it will be tied to me forever. Now, do I hang my head in shame and run and hide in the self-help section, or do I lift my chin, smile and say, “Thank you for reading my book. I hope you enjoyed it.”

The answer is smile, of course. Even if my cheeks are on fire, and my eyes glaze over in horror, I will still smile.

So if you are like me, a naturally shy person who is able to describe in explicit detail several uses for extra-virgin olive oil that do not involve cooking, how do you overcome that gut clenching, sweat producing, please-world-swallow-me-whole reaction? The key to that is understanding you as a person, and your reader.

The number one rule is write to your comfort level. This, I believe, is most important. Read out loud the sexiest scene in your manuscript in a strong, clear voice. If you can’t do it in the privacy of your own room, then how can you be comfortable promoting all aspects of your novel in public? Listen to your heart, and your internal embarrassment thermometer. If the thought of describing steamy oral sex makes you break out in hives, don’t do it.

Even though it’s the 21st century, people as a whole are still very sheltered when it comes to sex. I can’t understand why it is more publically acceptable to have a movie where someone is violently decapitated over a moving, emotional, explicit love scene. What may be vanilla to you, may be exotic and unimaginable to another. That person may lash out and make juvenile or negative comments to cover their own embarrassment or fear. Smile, nod your head, thank them for their opinion, and move on. My job as a fiction author is to entertain, not to teach, argue, or psychoanalyze their response to my book.

Be proud of your work. Conveying the nuances, both physical and emotional, of a sexually intimate relationship is a talent that takes incredible hard work and skill. The authors who are masters at love scenes cultivate enduring readerships for that reason. Their readers want that experience. If you can deliver that then don’t be afraid of embracing your inner sex goddess. The world can handle a little sexy.

Video Blog about Ereaders and Print Books

I'm delighted to welcome multi-published author Catherine Bybee to my blog. Catherine is a number one selling author of paranormal romance. Her latest release, Binding Vows has hit the top 100 list at Amazon's Time Travel Romance. Her book trailers have one top honors at You Gotta Read Reviews Best Book Trailer Awards. A wife and a mother of two boys, one fourteen the other eleven, is busy with countless hours of volunteer work, writing and a career as an ER Nurse.



Anyone interested in Catherine Bybee's previous video blogs check out her YouTube page by clicking HERE. Or stop by her website for more information about her books by visiting her website.

Guidelines to Online Networking

Please help me welcome C.J. Redwine to Once Written, Twice Shy. C.J. writes edgy urban fantasy with a side of comic relief and is repped by Holly Root of the Waxman Literary Agency. She runs a fun and fabulous blog where she writes about ninjas, awesome books and Zombie Goats, and teaches online query writing workshops and is a "professor" at Romance University.

Here's C.J.--I have a confession to make: I’m an outgoing introvert. This means I can comfortably hold my own with strangers if I must, can make conversation with anyone if called upon, and don’t mind sometimes being the life of the party. As long as the party doesn’t last too long.

Unlike an outgoing extrovert, the time I spend with people drains me. For every one hour I spend being “on” around others, I need at least an hour to myself to recharge unless I wish to treat the world to the spectacle of a girl waltzing into her local Ben & Jerry’s with a sketchy plan to abscond with all the inventory or go out in a blaze of glory trying.

I’m an introvert, but I’m also a writer trying to effectively brand herself online using the free platforms of blogging and social networking. Sometimes finding the balance between building community online and hoarding my scant time to myself can be difficult. So, how do I connect with others effectively without losing what’s left of my sanity? By following a few simple guidelines.

C.J.’s Guidelines To Online Networking
Or
How To Not Commit A Felony At Ben & Jerry’s

Set Time Limits: Let’s face it. As introverts, every interaction costs us something. Often, we pay the price willingly because we’re interested, we’re friends, or we know it’s something we need to do. But add up all those small interactions and before you know it, you’re exhausted, and Ben & Jerry’s starts to look like heaven, or close enough. I’ve found a good way to handle social interaction is to check in two or three times a day. The same goes for my email account and my blog comments. By setting aside times to handle all of the necessary interaction, I give myself permission to unplug for hours at a time.

Narrow The Field: Blogger. Live Journal. Wordpress. Goodreads. Facebook. Twitter. Myspace. The options for social networking are myriad, and trying to be an effective participant in too many forums will not only drive you batty, it will devour time better spent writing. I choose to spend my time on my blog and with the community I’m building with writers and readers on Twitter. I have a Facebook page, but only check in once a week for less than ten minutes. I find by having only two sites requiring my focus, I’m able to more effectively network and build my brand.

Know Your Boundaries: I’ve found that being accessible is one of the fastest ways to build community online. The problem, of course, is that I don’t want to be too accessible. It’s bad enough I just admitted to considering committing a felony over ice cream. Do you really want to know the things I’ve chosen to hold back? I didn’t think so. I dealt with this by setting boundaries for what I would and would not share about myself and my life online. I don’t have to be an open book. I just have to be accessible to the degree that I’m welcoming and interactive with others. I’m fiercely private about the things I’ve decided not to put out there for public consumption.

Keep A Notebook Handy: Let’s face it. As introverts, some days we want to crawl under the covers, grab a pan of brownies, and watch a Harry Potter marathon rather than say one word to anyone. It can be a problem when your I-sort-of-despise-the-world day falls on the same day you need to post a blog, update your Twitter feed once or twice, and interact with others without strongly suggesting they move to Antarctica and leave you and your brownies in peace. I’ve found that keeping a notebook with me at all times (I carry a small one EVERYWHERE) is my lifesaver. Any time I see or hear something funny or interesting, I jot it down. When I hit an I’d-rather-stick-a-fork-in-my-eye-than-blog day, I pull out my list, grab an item or two, and start writing. Having a ready supply of stories or interesting things to say takes the pressure off!

Cut the Crazy: Social networking attracts all types, and some people out there will ping your inner crazy meter. Really. You’ll run into those people who just drain the life out of you. Who demand things that cross your boundaries. Who make you feel like you need to back away. There’s no need to spend your emotional reserve on someone who causes your left eye to twitch. You don’t have to network with everyone who wants to. I’ve learned to be respectful but firm. My priority is to remain energized for my family and my writing. An online acquaintance who jeopardizes my ability to do so no longer gets my attention.

So, there you have it. Some basic guidelines I use to make my online interactions interesting, easier to handle, and—dare I say it?—fun. Step away from the ice cream case, and enjoy social networking on your own terms.

Productive Social Networking for Writers

Please help me welcome my sister and fellow romance author Laurie London. A graduate of Western Washington University with a BA in BusinessAdministration and a former tester/programmer for a Fortune 500 company, Laurie now writes from her home near Seattle where she lives with her husband and two children. Her debut novel, Bonded By Blood, A Sweetblood Novel, releases February 2011 by HQN. Embraced By Blood, the second book in the series, releases July 2011. When not writing, she can be found running, reading, or riding and showing her horse. Someday she hopes to qualify for the Quarter Horse World Show – that is, if her horse doesn’t get hurt again. You can learn more about Laurie at her website, on Facebook and Twitter.

Here's Laurie:
Thanks so much, Becky, for inviting me to talk about Social Networking. One of my favorite topics!

Social networking is THE perfect way for shy writers to network. Where else can you meet new and interesting people, reconnect with friends and acquaintances, come across as fun and engaging (hopefully), and edit yourself before you say something you’d regret—all while wearing those PJs and fuzzy slippers you have on right now?

Why should you care about social networking? After all, it’s writing the best book you can possibly write that really matters, right?

Well, you know what? I totally agree. Before I sold, I did not have a website, blog, author Twitter account, or author Facebook page. For the exact reason I rarely play video games any longer, I knew that I’d get sucked into the world of social networking, and I wanted my writing to come first. With a finite amount of creative energy inside me each day, I didn’t want to spend it all on social networking, when what I really wanted to do was write a book.

This isn’t to say I didn’t do any social networking prior to selling. I did have a Facebook page and Twitter account under my real name, but I tried to limit my time so that I could write every day. When I sold, I felt comfortable with these methods of communication and was able to jump right in with my author name.

In this interview on Murderati, Neil Nyren, Editor in Chief at Penguin Putnam, says word of mouth is an essential ingredient in selling books and the author plays an important role in this process. He goes on to say, “As a writer, you are the CEO of your own business. You should make it a point to learn that business and to do whatever is necessary to make that business succeed.” But then he adds you need to write a good book which is tough to do if you’re spending all your time on promotion.
So what’s a writer to do when you want to do both?

Seven Ways to Make Social Networking More Productive and Spend Less Time Doing It
1. Don’t waste your time posting something boring. I know this sounds blunt and mean, but social networking is all about making connections and providing good content. Unless you’re someone famous, no one, except maybe your mom, wants to read on Twitter that you’re having your second cup of coffee ten minutes after you posted that you were having your first. If you really want to tell people, then try to make it interesting. If not, stay offline and write instead.

2. Know who your readers/followers/friends are and provide content for them. Becky does a great job at this. I doubt she’d let me blog about my horse or my bathroom leak. You don’t come here to read about that. When I find an interesting article online, one that I think my followers or friends would enjoy, I twitter the link or post it to FB. Always ask yourself, “What’s in it for them?” and post accordingly. That’s not to say I don’t tweet about my horse or my bathroom leak, but I try not to do it too much.

3. Observe those who do social networking well and copy them. (Conversely, when someone says something that makes you cringe, make a mental note not to ever do that either.) One thing that totally impresses me is when people who have a lot of followers take the time to comment on something others have said. It makes me feel special when that happens, so I try to do the same for others. If someone retweets something I’ve said or comments on my FB page or blog, I always acknowledge it. If someone thinks you care about them, they’ll keep coming back. Conversation matters.

4. Pay attention to what makes you click one person’s link or comment on their status, and try to do the same. On Twitter, don’t just say “Interesting blog” and post the link. As a follower, I want to know if it’s worth my time to click. My opinion on what’s interesting may be different than yours. For instance, if I tweet about guest blogging here today, I might say, “Social networking for shy writers” or “7 ways writers can make social networking more productive” and give the link. It makes it easy for people to see if they’d be interested or not. Sure, I might also post, “I need your help. I’m hearing crickets on this blog. Please come visit me.” But what I won’t do is link only the URL, thinking someone will click through just because. Conan O’Brien has Just Because status. I don’t.

5. On Twitter, take advantage of hashtag topics to connect with like-minded people and see real-time publishing information. One of my favorite people on Twitter, Debbie Ridpath Ohi (@Inkyelbows), has a great list of hashtag topics for writers on her blog. (http://tinyurl.com/lzp9w8) In fact, check out her blog for loads of other Twitter tips. I’ve learned a lot from her (see items 3 and 4 above). If you’re posting something that pertains to a particular topic, use the appropriate hashtag. That way even people who don’t follow you will see your tweet. I’ve met the nicest people this way. Also, many agents post what kinds of manuscripts they’re currently looking for under #pubtips.

6. Build your followers/friends list with people who have similar interests. Don’t just limit yourself to other writers. I like wine, horses, and cooking, so I’ve sought out other people on Twitter and FB who like the same things. As far as I can tell, people who like wine, horses, and cooking also read books. ;-) Take the time to read their blog if a post sounds interesting and comment if you have time. Don’t forget to track back so you can tell if they replied. I love it when people comment back on a blog post or comment I’ve made.

7. If you link your Twitter and FB updates, don’t link every tweet. Facebook isn’t as real-time as Twitter and it will just look strange to your FB friends when you use twitter-speak.

Since seven is a nice number, I’ll stop there. Do you have any tips you’d like to share about social networking for writers?