I'm starting a new series on this blog about stepping outside of my (or your) comfort zone. We've touched on this in our regular Wednesday guest postings and interviews, but I thought it would be fun to focus on this aspect of being shy and/or introverted. Every Tuesday (that's the plan anyway--I'm also lazy, forgetful and unorganized by nature), I will tell you how I am stepping outside my comfort zone. Even better, you can come on as a guest and tell the readers how you are stepping outside your comfort zone.
Being shy and/or introverted can really hold us back sometimes, often manifesting itself as fear. Fear to try new things, fear to put ourselves "out there." Personally, I'm sick and tired of letting fear run my life. If you know me personally, you may not necessarily think of me as a wimp, but I am. Trust me. If you know me personally, you know that I teach group exercise classes, including Zumba. Now, how on earth could I do this if I'm shy or introverted? Practice, baby. Practice. Fake it till you make it. And any other cliche you can come up with. Years ago, when I was just a personal trainer and not also a class instructor (one on one, I'm fine, but put me in front of a group...yikes.), my gym was in desperate need of a kickboxing sub. Somehow, my boss knew I had a background in martial arts (mainly because my hubby was a martial artist). They asked me to sub the kickboxing class for several weeks while the regular instructor was on leave. Holy #$@%! I said yes, because I'm a nice person and often do things just to be nice (remember, I told you I can be a wimp), but I swear to God I had a horrible stomach ache and insomnia for days leading up to that first class. I'm pretty sure I wet my pants a bit that first day, but somehow I muddled through, and somehow subbing that class led to a second fitness career as group exercise instructor. Right now, I teach Zumba, Pilates, yoga and a fitball sculpt class.
I've been teaching for about 8 years now. But you know what? I still get nervous before EVERY class, especially Zumba where I really have to be "on" and energetic (so not my personality). Before every class, I give myself a little pep talk beforehand. I have to remind myself to make eye contact with students. I have to remind myself to smile. Luckily, my sister takes my classes--if I look too serious, she'll break out into a HUGE grin to remind me to do the same.
Even though teaching still gets me nervous, I'm SO glad I didn't let my fear prevent me from accepting that first teaching opportunity. Being a group exercise instructor is one of the most rewarding and fun jobs I've ever had. I mean, seriously, I get paid to work out. I get paid to work out with other people. I get paid to help people get fit, get more energy, get more self-confidence. Those benefits far outweigh my pathetic little fears.
So...tell me one little thing you'll do this week to step outside of YOUR comfort zone.
Baby steps to overcoming shyness
Kathleen
is an avid sailor and former charter boat captain whose stories reflect her
love of tropical islands and the sea. She writes romantic suspense and
contemporary romances. Her computer engineering degree helped her research
cyber-security for her latest book.
Here's Kathleen:
Hello,
fellow introverts.
This
is a wonderful blog for me to visit because I am a recovering introvert. All my
life, I’ve been painfully shy. Reading
I
have, and today I present workshops and love doing book signings. All without
shaking.
The
method I used to escape from hiding involves determination and baby steps. I
wanted my books to be noticed, so I stiffened my back and came up with a plan
to increase my name recognition and readership and help my books stand out from
the anonymous crowd.
As
my first baby step, I volunteered to be an officer for my local Virginia
I
wasn’t ready to face the reading public alone yet, so as another baby step, I
asked to be included in multi-author book signings. With other author’s at the
table, I could feel less exposed.
After
a year of public speaking practice in front of friends, I felt ready to expand
to other audiences. I developed two workshops: a writers’ workshop on how to
write dazzling dialogue and a workshop for aspiring writers on how to get
published. I gave my first workshop at Virginia Romance Writers. I practiced for
weeks. That Saturday morning, my stomach was tied in knots. But the group was
small (mid-summer vacation weeks) and supportive, and somehow I survived. That
success gave me the courage to contact a library and offer to present a
workshop for aspiring writers.
As
I developed and presented more and more workshops and did more signings, my
confidence slowly grew. I no longer need company at book signings for moral
support. Recently, I was thrilled when a new author doing her first signing
asked me to join her. I was the experienced author who could help her feel more
comfortable as she sat behind that table and faced her fear of the public!
My
transition from a shy person who hid in the shadows to an author who seeks out
opportunities to give talks and workshops and sign my books has been a slow
process. I started small. Every baby step was choreographed carefully.
Occasionally, I tripped or took a step backward. But my journey has been
rewarding and worthwhile. Lately, my baby steps have turned to leaps.
I’m
still an introvert, but I’m proud to be able to promote my books in person. My
newest workshop is for writers who want to overcome their fears and learn to
promote in public. I’ll be taking my biggest leap soon when I propose that
workshop to RWA, hoping I can present at the 2013 National Conference. I’ve
spoken at smaller conferences, but presenting at a large national conference is
my ultimate measure of success.
Wish
me luck! I wish each of you luck on your own journey. You can overcome
your shyness, and I hope hearing my story will help.
Thanks to Rebecca for letting me visit.
You
can see pictures of my boat, read my full bio, and learn more about my books at
my website. I’m also on Facebook and Twitter
(@KathleenMix). My new release, Deadly
Memories, is available from The Wild Rose Press. Please stop by my blog to read more tidbits about my writing life.
When an extortionist threatens to compromise Trish
Flaherty’s top-secret software project, only one cyber-security consultant has
the expertise to identify the culprit in time to prevent a national disaster.
The problem is, that one man is Greg Erickson, a former lover whose rush to
judgement nine years ago changed the course of her life. Just thinking about
him has unleashed a cache of painful memories, and the last thing she wants is
his help.
To find the extortionist, Trish must work by Greg’s side. To save her heart, she must keep her distance. Because if she gives him a second chance to desert her, this time her heart won’t survive.
Greg has an agenda: he wants an explanation for recent events that have damaged the reputation of his consulting company. His new assignment could be the key. But Trish appears to be involved in the subterfuge, and the extortionist doesn’t hesitate to kill. Can he listen to his heart and trust the lover who once betrayed him, discover the truth about the past, and disrupt a devious countdown before it climaxes in another murder?
Q & A with Alexis Morgan!
Alexis Morgan has always been an avid reader, and she loves spending her days with hunky heroes and gutsy heroines. She has published over twenty-five books, novellas, and short stories, including contemporary romances, American West Historicals, and Paranormal Romances. Her newest release, My Lady Mage, is her first venture into fantasy romance. It’s the first book in her new series from Signet Eclipse, Warriors of the Mist. She has been nominated for numerous industry awards, including the RITA© from the Romance Writers of America, the top award in the romance genre.
Do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person?
Yes, although people who know me tend to laugh at that idea. However, in a lot of ways I’m still the shy person I was back in high school. I’m just better at hiding it.
In what ways has being shy or introverted hindered your writing career?
It’s the amount of energy it takes to put myself “out there” to promote my books, which has become an increasingly necessary part of the business.
In what ways has being shy or introverted helped your writing career?
I think it is why I enjoy spending so much time alone at my computer with my characters and stories. It’s one of the few jobs where you can be hard at work while staring out the window.
So true! What’s the hardest part of this business for you?
Waiting—and there’s a lot of it. It’s often well over a year from when I start writing a book that it actually comes out.
Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life?
The first time I agreed to give a talk at a local conference. One of my chapter members convinced me to do a talk with her. I’m not sure I would have ever done it on my own. I still prefer to give talks with someone else or to do panel discussions, but I’ve learned I can give talks that people seem to enjoy and learn from.
What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you?
Take baby steps. At a meeting or a conference, choose to sit with someone you don’t know, introduce yourself, and ask what they are working on. Among writers, that’s always a safe place to start. I’ve made some of my closest friends in this business in just that way. It’s so important to surround yourself with people who cheer you on and that you can support in return.
Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it?
My Lady Mage will be released July 3, and will be available through all the usual booksellers.
A cursed destiny. A band of warriors. And one troubled kingdom.
It is whispered in Agathia that the legendary warriors of the mist—cursed by the gods—can be summoned only when a champion is needed and the cause is just. Gideon, their captain, knows this to be the one path that will lead his men to redemption—lest they face an eternity of damnation.
Years have passed since anyone has journeyed to the river’s edge, but times are desperate. Oppressed by a cruel guardian whose dark magic threatens to destroy her people, the beautiful and courageous Merewen calls upon the bespelled warriors. In Gideon she finds more than a champion, and in his arms, more than protection. However, their enemies are fighting with a power darker than anything than they imagined, and should Gideon fail, she will lose everything she holds dear—including her heart.
Where can my readers find you on the web?
Here are my links:
Website:www.alexismorgan.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AMorganAuthor
Twitter: @Alexis_Morgan
Alexis is giving away a copy of her newest book to one lucky commenter, so be sure to leave your email addy when you comment.
DO YOU HAVE PHOBIAS…OR AM I THE ONLY ONE?
A microphone.
Now, a fear of microphones isn’t a bad thing…if you never
have to get in front of one. But as an author there are ample opportunities to
get up close and personal with a microphone. For a shy person, it can be a
painful, humiliating experience as the microphone picks up every little tremor,
every mispronunciation, and every mouse-like squeak. And isn’t it true, as a
shy person that I am more self-conscious anyway? I think sometimes my shyness
comes from my life-long struggle to be perfect. Intellectually, I know no one
can be perfect. And yet I keep trying, and failing.
The microphone only magnifies this failing for everyone to
hear. I learned this when I took piano lessons. Before each recital or
competition, my mother would pull out the old tape recorder and set it up to
tape me while I practiced. I learned to hate microphones then. Especially when,
fancying myself a singer, I secretly tried recording songs—yikes! Who was that
girl with the shrill, high-pitched voice? Certainly nothing like I imagined.
Somehow I ended up president of Dallas Area Romance Authors
(1994)-really a great and supportive group of writers. But in looking back,
just what was I thinking? I suppose when I first walked into my first DARA meeting
that I felt so at home and so welcomed, I thought I could conquer the world. Here
were people who “got me.” Each subsequent meeting only made me feel more
powerful, who can fail with awesome writer friends--so what was a little
microphone phobia?
Yet as the date approached for the first meeting with me as
president, and I got to thinking about that microphone…um, yeah, not hard to
guess. Nerve city. I suppose I should
have gotten some counseling for the phobia, but I was a busy homeschooling mom
of (at that time) four young children. (Now, I have six but four are grown,
still homeschooling the last two). There was no time in the schedule for visits
to a counselor.
I had a writer friend who was also a college teacher—an
awesome college teacher, I took her scriptwriting class and was never bored.
She told me she practiced her classes beforehand. So I figured I’d try that.
The whole talking in front of a mirror thing only made me more self-conscious,
but I found I could drive around in the car and talk to myself. Which is what I
did.
By the time January rolled around and my first meeting, we’d
moved over an hour away from the DARA meetings. That gave me a whole hour alone
in the car to practice and picture in my mind how the meeting would go--these
days they’d call it creative visualization, but I didn’t know that at the time.
But I’d picture myself in front of the microphone, picture how my voice would
sound reverberating to me and practice what I was going to say. That worked
really well for the first few months. Then, one month I gave a ride to a friend and DIDN’T
do my practicing and visualization (I figured it’d be okay, after all, I’d
handled the microphone so far ) it didn’t go well. Right before the meeting I
started worrying that I hadn’t practiced and I didn’t have time to conquer the
nerves before I had to get in front of the microphone. That was a painful
meeting for all involved, I’m sure.
I did think I had conquered this phobia even though I’d
avoided microphones all the years since, until I made my first sale. At DARA
they present you with a first sale rose and you get up and accept the rose and
tell everyone what your book’s about—with the microphone. How had I forgotten
that detail? So no, I had not practiced on the way. When I realized, pretty
much last minute, that I was going to have to take that microphone, I started
making mental notes, which is not the same as talking to yourself and
visualizing how it will go. Too many people around, too many distractions and
nerves had a chance to really take hold. When it was time to tell about my
book, I took that microphone and pretty much went blank.
This experience taught me I’m never going to be over my fear
of microphones, so the next time I will make sure to practice, practice,
practice!
How about you? Do you have phobias? If so, how do you deal
with them? If you’ve conquered them, spill!
Diana Layne is an award-winning author of PIRATE’S PROPOSAL, a swashbuckling pirate tale in The Tales of The Scrimshaw Doll series, and THE GOOD DAUGHTER: A Mafia Story (Vista Security prequel). Book 1 of the Vista Security Series, TRUST NO ONE (also her Golden Heart® final) is due to release the first of June. Check out her BLOG post to find out how to get an ARC of TRUST NO ONE (and to see the new cover), and her WEBSITE for buy links and to sign up for her newsletter to keep up with her releases.
Q & A with erotica author Simone Sinna
Simone Sinna is the other side of an established nonfiction writer. After an epiphany on the 2038km road to Santiago de Compostela (which inspired her second novel, just out) she changed her name and now writes mostly erotic fiction. Her husband is delighted, her mother and two children less so…
She has three erotic romance suspense novels published with Siren: Embedded, Exposé, Exclusive (due July 2012) and two short stories in Stringybark anthologies, Brushstrokes published in Heat Wave of ’76 in 2011 and Night Game in 2012 in Between the Sheets.
Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life?
The other time that really comes to mind though isn't too do with writing. I sang in a rock'n'roll band with four guys dancing behind me in rain coats. I was in a tight black plastic dress singing It's Raining Men. First ever public singing and though I had had lessons for a couple of years I was TERRIFIED. When the acosutics gave no feedback meaning I couldn't hear myself, I though I'd die. Anyway, I kept going and am still alive but no singing career!!!
What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you?
When you get scared (of having your writing criticized/ that you won't be able to do it) then remind yourself: "Do I still want to be saying this when I'm 80 in a retirement village-- 'I could have...' " Give it your best now and at least know you tried!
Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it?
The second in the series, Exposé (erotic romance suspense-- loads of glamour, action and sex) can now be purchased as an e-book on www.bookstrand.com/simone-sinna and will be released as a print copy in August 2012.
Second of three in the Stephanie Beauman series (but stands alone), Exposé takes investigative journalist Stephanie from New York where she is recovering from the end of her affair with Gabriel, undercover again, this time on a film set across France and Spain. Producer Jeffrey Carroway wants an award – enough to step aside as director and allow industry darling Paolo Valdez to direct. But is he also prepared to pay? Trying to uncover a systematic fraud, Stephanie finds more than she bargained for when things start going very wrong on set. Sabotage, bribery and artistic integrity are all in the mix as Stephanie plays Paolo against Jeffrey, whilst juggling handsome actor Damian Croft, trying to work out just why Carlo is keeping such a close eye on her and wondering if she will every truly escape Gabriel.
Where can my readers find you on the web?www.simonesinna.com
Follow @simonesinna on Twitter
Second of three in the Stephanie Beauman series (but stands alone), Exposé takes investigative journalist Stephanie from New York where she is recovering from the end of her affair with Gabriel, undercover again, this time on a film set across France and Spain. Producer Jeffrey Carroway wants an award – enough to step aside as director and allow industry darling Paolo Valdez to direct. But is he also prepared to pay? Trying to uncover a systematic fraud, Stephanie finds more than she bargained for when things start going very wrong on set. Sabotage, bribery and artistic integrity are all in the mix as Stephanie plays Paolo against Jeffrey, whilst juggling handsome actor Damian Croft, trying to work out just why Carlo is keeping such a close eye on her and wondering if she will every truly escape Gabriel.
Where can my readers find you on the web?www.simonesinna.com
Follow @simonesinna on Twitter
Q & A with Isabella Macotte
I love romance novels with a paranormal twist. I’ll read everything from light to dark paranormal, but especially enjoy a lighter humorous tone. Everyone I know needs to escape from their everyday world, and what better way than a romantic fantasy place starring a hunky hero and a strong heroine?
My latest release is The Heart Gem, a historical romance novel set in England. The story incorporates paranormal elements, a heroine who plans to be a businesswoman, and a sexy hero who needs to wed to leave the Fae world behind.
Do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person?
Probably depends on the situation now. As a child I was very shy, but as I get older not too much bothers me.
What’s the hardest part of this business for you?
I think the most difficult part was venturing into the marketing and social media world. There was so much to learn! Once I got the hang of things, I started to enjoy the different platforms. The nicest surprise has been the wonderful people I’ve met along this journey. I’ve connected with readers and writers all over the world, none of which I’d have met outside of the social media outlets.
Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life?
By writing romance novels, you really open yourself up to the reader being in your head. As a writer, you can’t let yourself be intimidated by that fact. Don’t tailor your novel based on what your mom or boss may think about your story. Write solely for the reader’s enjoyment.
What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you?
Most people are happy to get to know you. Be natural, never pushy, but trust your intuition.
Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it?
BLURB:
In 1885, a proper Victorian woman's place was in the home. Convention never appealed to Hallie Pinefoy.
But plans for financial independence through a successful doll-making venture have one impediment. She's inherited a curiosity shop and a handsome business partner who's proving to be a delicious distraction.
When Bremen Tyler inherits a shop in coastal England, he breaks from the mystical Ancestral clan to live a normal life. The only way to guarantee a permanent break is to marry his Heart Match, a perfect soul mate. Bremen recognizes the captivating Hallie as his true love, but she isn't cooperating with his courtship.
If he can retrieve the stolen Heart Gem, an Artifact of Love, he can use it to prove their match. The surface of the Gem reflects the essence of a couple's future life, but the risks are great. More importantly, will Hallie realize true love doesn't need proof?
Available now!
Where can my readers find you on the web?
WEBSITE: www.isabellamacotte.com
TWITTER: http://twitter.com/IsabellaMacotte
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Isabella-Macotte/160318097368777
Q & A with Amie Louellen
I’m a wife and a mother, working toward being a full-time writer. I adore my family—husband and son—and I love spending time with them. We’re one of those dorky families who do everything together. I love to garden and to read, watch movies and read. Did I say read already?
Do you consider yourself a shy and/or introverted person?
No, not at all. I love talking to people. In fact, I used to get into trouble when I was younger for talking to just anybody. I still do that a lot, but I don’t get in trouble with my mom anymore.
What’s the hardest part of this business for you?
I love this business. Though the hardest part might be the paperwork. The questions about the hero and heroine, what I think the cover should look like. I have a hard time making a choice and in the end, I to go overboard, pasting pictures and links to websites. I’m sure the editors and art staff think I’m crazy.
Tell me about a time that you had to step outside your comfort zone either in your writing career or in your personal life?
I’m not a confrontational person so negotiations of contracts and the details of writing are hard for me. I’ve had to learn to say that I don’t like something or tell people I like a different change or different idea. That’s always uncomfortable for me.
What’s one tip you could share with shy and introverted people that’s helped you (whether you’re shy/introverted or not)?
Everyone gets nervous; it’s only natural. But a person who is nervous is bound to be more careful and make less mistakes than someone who’s overly confident. So use that shyness to your advantage and proceed with caution.
Would you please share a short blurb of your book and where my readers can buy it?
Suzanne Rose never intended for Brice Van Sant to drink a cup of her homemade herbal shampoo. And she certainly didn’t expect an impromptu marriage proposal from the hunky CEO.
Too late they realize the bright blue shampoo is responsible. Almost like...a love potion!
Brice doesn’t believe in love. But as chief executive of the area’s largest pharmaceutical company, he needs that formula. He strong-arms Suzanne into reproducing it for him, demanding that she pretend they are happily married until it’s recovered.
As Suzanne struggles to remember the shampoo’s ingredients and forget their perfect wedding night, she finds herself falling for her husband. Can she convince Brice that love is a chance worth taking before she loses her heart to him forever?
Available now!
Where can my readers find you on the web?
www.amielouellen.com
@AmieLouellen on Twitter
www.facebook.com/pages/AmieLouellenAuthor
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