VOLUNTEERING – THE WAY THE INTROVERT KICKS SAND IN THE FACE OF SHYNESS WHILE GOING ‘NEENER NEENER’

Hello, my name is Danielle Monsch, and I am an introvert. (Please ignore the hysterical laughter coming from my Romance Writers of America chapter mates who cannot believe those words actually passed my lips, or more accurately, were typed by my fingers.)

“Why the disbelief?” those of you who do not know me are probably asking right now.

The answer is, kinda because I’m everywhere. Every time someone enters an RWA meeting in the Seattle area, I’m there, blabbing in front about something. One chapter I’m VP of, the other I’m helping the Emerald City Writers Conference as the Asst. Conference chair. Both of these are high profile jobs, and between the two, I’m constantly running around, answering peoples questions, contacting speakers and locations – you name it, I’m dealing with it.

Rather begs the question, can someone who claims to be an introvert really do all that?

Well you see, it is exactly because I’m an introvert that I decided to do all this. Let me explain…

My natural inclination is to sit in a corner. If you leave me alone, roots might start growing around me because I don’t tend to move around and socialize much. Sad, I know, but true.

Now, far be it from me to burst any bubbles, but being an author involves more than sitting in front of your computer typing out a book. Wait, I take that back, being an author involves exactly that… but being a published author, not so much. You have to get out there. This business is all about relationships, your name known to the right person at the right time, so that they look on with interest at your Masterpiece that is in front of them.

People knowing your name, well, that cannot happen if you are sitting in a corner.
This is why I highly recommend all you introverts get out there and volunteer for your writing organizations. Volunteering forces you to do what does not come naturally – mingle and chat. It gives you a job to focus on. It forces you to talk, to learn, to network, to be open and engaging and make sure that needs are met on all sides. You don’t have a choice in the matter.

In many ways, volunteering is the perfect solution to the introverted personality.
So, have I convinced you to seriously consider volunteering, perhaps calling up your chapter board right now to see what you can do? Excellent, but as a quick word of warning, please keep these helpful hints in mind…

Don’t over-volunteer -- This is surprisingly easy to do, and I admit, bit me on the backside this year. This position sounds fun, they are really in a bind over here… before you know it, you have to cut things out of your everyday life to make sure you have the time to do your volunteer work… and what is the first thing that usually goes when we are short on time? Exactly, the writing. Obviously, not good, since one of the reasons to do this volunteer thing is to support your writing career. One thing you must keep in your head always is writing is first, then whatever time you have left over you can figure out how to use for volunteering. Don’t cut into your writing time.

Behave Professionally – Yes, you are giving up a lot of time and are not being paid, and yes, you will not like everyone that volunteers with you, or you will disagree on how to do things. Still, don’t act like a spoiled child and whine that not everything is exactly your way, or act entitled and believe everyone needs to jump at your words, never mind they are all volunteering themselves. Definitely don’t write a negative email about someone, because in a volunteer organization, you never know who has access to which email addresses, and the person you are mouthing off over just might have access to that email. Behave exactly as you would if you were in your place of employment. Remember, memories are long, especially about bad stuff.

Don’t volunteer more than one step above your comfort level – One step above comfort is fine, in fact, you should probably aim for that; overcoming our limitations is how we as people grow. However, if being behind the ‘Help’ desk is a big deal for you, don’t let someone talk you into running a conference. If they don’t have a position to fit you, don’t be afraid to say no. I guarantee, eventually they will need help with a project that is just your speed.

Don’t volunteer if the only reason you are volunteering is to network – Have I confused you with this one? I said you should volunteer to overcome the introvert’s inclination to sit in the corner, and you should, I stand by that. I also said that you should look at volunteering as a wonderful way to network, and I stand by that as well. People give a lot up while volunteering, so expecting a little back in goodwill and name recognition is not a lot to ask by any means, and no one should feel guilty for taking these into account.

The thing is, if these benefits are the ONLY reason you are volunteering and you have absolutely positively no interest at all in the helping out aspect of volunteering, then you are going to become miserable, as are the people around you. Volunteering is always more work than you originally think it will be, and if you don’t truly want the position, that will become evident very quickly. Your job either won’t be getting done or it will be slipshod work at best, which leads to people taking up your slack and working a lot harder than they had to, which means bad feelings all around before long.

Those happy networking feelings in such circumstances – not going to happen. So please, only volunteer if the job appeals to you and you will be happy doing it, at least on some level.

I truly believe in volunteering. Organizations such as RWA cannot survive without volunteers, and I believe in giving back when you can to places that help you out. That being said, getting an opportunity to overcome your shyness and help your career WHILE doing a worthy service, life just does not get much better than that.

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Danielle Monsch is the host of the podcast ‘Romantically Speaking’ which is available on iTunes! She is also VP of Eastside RWA and the Assistant Conference Chair of Emerald City Writers Conference, held every October in Seattle WA. She is also currently ‘pre-published’ (such a fancy phrase for saying “Not yet sold a book!”) - but she’s working on it.
Contact her at Dani@DanielleMonsch.com or visit her at the following places: website www.DanielleMonsch.com, twitter www.twitter.com/DaniMonsch, or Facebook www.facebook.com/DanielleMonsch

Three Months with My Nook

My husband gave me an ereader for Christmas. Told me I could pick which one I wanted. It took me until March to decide. In case any of you are in the market for a reader, I’ll share with you my thought process for choosing the Nook.

Kindle: I knew immediately I didn’t want a Kindle, because it doesn’t read a lot of formats and I already had an extensive digital library. I wanted to be able to read those books. But everyone I know who has a Kindle loves it.

Sony touchscreen: This one gets great reviews and reads lots of formats, but I hadn’t spoken to one person who loved it. The price was a bit more than the Kindle and Nook ($50 more when I was looking), but the main reason I chose against it was the screen—too much glare.

Sony Pocket Reader: This was my front-runner the whole time. Great price ($160 or so when I was looking), reads lots of formats, and many of my writer friends have this one. I ultimately decided against it because the screen was small.

I-Pad: Way too expensive, and way too big. I want a reader to read books. I don’t need all the bells and whistles of the I-Pad. Also, it’s backlit and I plan to spend a lot of time reading. Backlit screens are harder on the eyes.

Why the Nook? It reads a lot of formats--that was my first criteria. I was able to check it out in person in the Barnes & Noble store, and it was simple to use and figure out. The BN staff is super helpful, so if I ever had problems with it, I’d have an actual place to go for help. After I'd had it a few weeks, I bought a pretty turquoise cover—it protects the Nook and makes it look and feel like a “real” book. I also bought a nightlight that clips onto the top and is perfect for reading in bed. It’s just bright enough to read but not so bright that it disturbs my sleeping husband.

Something LOVE about the Nook is free Friday books. Every Friday, you can enter the virtual store via the Nook and download the free book of the week. I’ve discovered some fabulous new-to-me authors this way.

The Nook has some other cool features, too, but honestly, I don’t care about them. All I care about is that the device is easy to learn and navigate (check), and I can easily download books onto it (check), and it works (check). It was a piece of cake to download my digital library from my computer to the Nook (just drag and drop into the correct file). If I want to buy from the Barnes & Noble store, it’s a bit more difficult. Not. You just open the store, click on the book you want, click BUY, and voila, it’s on the Nook. Almost TOO easy (dreading the upcoming VISA bill…I wonder if I can hide it from my husband…).

I think I would have loved whatever reader I had chosen. Having a reader is SO cool and so much fun. I’m reading way more than I was before, because I’ve been buying short stories, novellas and short novels—these are hard to come by in paperback format.

Plus, I just love the name. Nook. It’s fun to say. Try it. See? Fun.

So, tell me--do you have a reader? Which one, and how do you like it? Are you looking for a reader? Which one are you considering? Or are you one of those people who just wants to hold a good, old-fashioned book in your hands?

Conference Jitters for a Shy Writer

Please help me welcome romance author Vivi Andrews. Vivi was born and raised in Alaska and still lives in the Last Frontier when she isn't busy indulging her travel addiction. She writes fun and flirty paranormal romances as well as smoldering shapeshifter stories. For more about Vivi and her books, please visit www.viviandrews.com. Also on her website, you can find details regarding Vivi's "Have a Heart" promotion, supporting the Children's Heart Foundation.

HERE'S VIVI: You know that moment in Wayne’s World where Mike Myers and Dana Carvey fall to their knees and cry “We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!” as they bow to Alice Cooper? That’s how I always feel at writing conferences. One look at some of my writing icons and I turn into a simpering fangirl. I simply cannot think of myself as their peer.

I had a bunch of I’m not worthy moments at the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention in Columbus last month. (There was much gushing “I love your books!” on my part, though thankfully I managed to stop myself from the actually bowing and fawning.)

I find conferences daunting on several levels. I’m nervous around the big authors I admire, I’m spastic around the editors and agents because oh-my-god-they-could-totally-make-my-career-if-they-wanted-to, and at RT there is the added intimidation of the readers – who may or may not have read or be interested in reading my books. It’s enough to make a girl want to hide in her room all week.

The good news is almost everyone at the conferences is just as introverted as I am – so at least I’m in good company. The not-so-good news? I have to muster up the courage to network.

I’m terrible at networking. I love talking about books, but I shudder at the thought that I, as an author, am a commodity I have to sell to editors, agents & readers. Sales has never been my forte. I have a hard time touting my books when more often than not I’m still stunned they got published in the first place. (I’m not one of those confident writers…)

Success at conferences (as I gauge it) involves overcoming my natural instincts. At my very first writing conference, I didn’t know anyone. I’d never been to an RWA meeting or any sort of writing conference. I’d never seen a best-seller or an editor or agent in the flesh. I sidled away from Sherrilyn Kenyon like she might bite me, I clammed up when I realized midway through a fun conversation that I was talking to the Wild and Untamed Agent of the Species, and generally made an idiot of myself in my pitches by being so nervous I could barely breathe. I was tempted more than once to hightail it up to my room and hide.

But I didn’t hide. I sucked it up, fought my flight instinct, and walked up to a table with an empty chair and asked if it was taken. It wasn’t. I sat. Or rather, I huddled there in mute terror until I slowly began to realize the other women around the table were just like me. Aspiring writers, industry pros and devoted lovers of books – especially books of the romance persuasion. They got me.

At that table, I met some of the most wonderful women I’ve had the pleasure to know. I’m still in touch with several of them. I partied with one of them until the wee small hours at RT. They have become my invaluable writing buddies, the best support system a hopeful writer could have, and I would never have met them if I hadn’t manned up enough to take that seat.

These days at conferences I’m better at making myself socialize, though sometimes I still have to fight down the I’m not worthy imposter feeling. But the these people get me feeling that always hits at some point during the conference is worth all my silly jitters.

The moral of the story? Conferences can be terrifying for the shy writer. But if you can get up the guts to crawl out of your shell, the rewards can be amazing. And just remember – your fellow writers are like spiders. They’re just as afraid of you as you are of them.

And if that fails, just picture everyone naked. ;)

Current Release: The Sexorcist
eBook buy link: http://www.mybookstoreandmore.com/the-sexorcist-p-5463.html

Leave Me at Home

Please help me welcome author Mysti Holiday. Mysti is a very busy SAHM who dreams of warm climates and hot bodies. Most people know she writes, but not what she writes about: sexy men and the wanton women who love them. She's married to a wonderful man who happily sacrifices himself for research, and she spends most of her days dreaming of interesting and unusual situations in which to place her characters. But most of all, she's a sucker for a happy ending. Mysti's erotic romance, SHUT UP AND KISS ME, is available now from The Wild Rose Press. Visit Mysti on her blog, The Menagerie.

HERE'S MYSTI: I have a confession to make... something most folks simply wouldn’t believe.

I’m painfully shy. Shy to the point of being incapacitated.

What? Why are you laughing? Just because I talk to everyone I see, just because I have no problem with public speaking or getting up on stage, and I can even sing in front of people, you don’t believe I’m shy?

I am.

Every time I face new situations, I die a little inside. When I meet new people, I’m terrified. But, the fact is, new stuff is a fact of life. So I can either sit in my house with the curtains drawn and suck my thumb, or I can figure out how to deal with it. Because besides being shy, I’m also stubborn.

Here’s how I learned.

From my earliest memories, I can remember performing. In kindergarten I was in drama and playing the Empress of China ( I still remember one of my lines: “Rise, my subjects.” *G*). In sixth grade, I learned how to play basketball so I could hang out with my secret crush (he was the basketball star ... and I asked him to teach me), and I learned so well I ended up captaining the team. In seventh grade I learned how to juggle. In ninth, I joined choir and drama. As an adult, I took speech classes and worked as a bartender. I’ve always been in the public eye and it’s easy to do.

You know why? Because when I’m the captain of the basketball team or the Empress of China, I’m not ME. Me is shy. Me is terrified of new people and sits in a corner and cries when she’s expected to go outside her comfort zone (which is pretty much anything and everything). The Empress of China is confident and proud and secure. She drapes herself over Me and shows her how it’s done. Me happily stands aside and lets the Empress, or the Captain or the Bartender take over.

It’s make believe that lets me do it. I’m a terrifically private person and very few people know anything about me. They may think they know, but they don’t. They know about the Empress or the Captain or the Bartender, but Me is carefully buried in a place where she can cringe when the Bartender greets a new customer and carries on a conversation, or when the Empress stands on stage and says her lines.

It’s my version of picturing the audience in their underwear. I just become someone else, and it protects Me.

Think about it. Everyone does it. When you dress for work in a business suit, or put on your hooker red lipstick to give yourself confidence, you’re becoming someone else. You’re using props to create a new persona to help you get through an uncomfortable situation. Why not do that all the time?

Today, wear your confident author persona and push through. You CAN do a book signing. You CAN read an excerpt of your work to a group of ladies at your local library. Just pull out the confident author and put her one. Leave Me at home where she’s happiest.

Give it a shot. What do you have to lose?

Turning a Negative into a Positive

Please help me welcome the fantastic and inspiring Sharon Donovan to my blog.

Hello! First of all, I’d like to thank Becky for having me here today as her guest. It’s great to be here! The subject at hand seems to be shyness and how to best overcome it. I’m learning that quite a few authors suffer from this phobia, thrusting themselves head first into writing to channel their creative muse. I am one of these authors. I’ll share with you my tale of woe and how I turned the tables around to work for me.

I lost my vision ten years ago to diabetic retinopathy. This condition causes fragile blood vessels to grow and rupture in the back of the eye and can lead to progressive blindness. Diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic at the age of six, a doctor at Children’s Hospital predicted I would be blind before I turned twenty-five. His harsh words haunted my subconscious, affecting every decision I made for years to come. Afraid of life, I became painfully shy, keeping to myself and wondering when it would happen. Where would I be? Should I drive? What if I killed somebody while driving?

These worries screamed in my head on a daily basis to the point of madness. No matter where I went or what I did, there they were. Even though I went on to become a legal secretary at the Court of Common Pleas where I prepared cases for judges in the Family Division, the words played in my head again and again like a broken record. Then one day I discovered a passion for painting, losing myself for hours at a time. No more pain, no more heartache. Peace and tranquility. Painting picturesque scenery became my haven, a place where I could escape those cruel words. Then one day it happened, the initial bout of blindness. For the next two decades, vision came and went. Now you see it—now you don’t. The vicious circle went round and round, pushing me deeper and deeper into a world of loneliness and shyness. Then after one final operation in an attempt to save my vision, I lost the battle.

Devastated, I enrolled in a program for the blind and visually impaired where I underwent a grueling regimen for eight hours a day. But when I was introduced to a computer with adaptive software, converting text to synthesized speech, hope soared for the first time in years. And after a long and winding road, a new dream resurrected. Today, instead of painting my pictures on canvas, I paint my pictures with words.

What happened to the shyness? It’s still at the very core of me. But I’ve learned that sticking your head in the sand will get you nowhere. Once I began asking for help and reaching out, doors opened. And they have continued to open for me in my writing career. It took me a long time to channel my creative muse into a new outlet, but using vivid adjectives in my writing helps keep memories of the four seasons fresh in my head. I invite you to visit my website where you can read excerpts of my books and reviews. You can also see some of the pictures I painted in my art gallery. I write in two very different genres, inspiration and suspense. Why? The answer is quite simple, really. With all I’ve been through in my life, I feel the need to inspire others through my writing. On days when I feel, shall we say, less than inspirational, I run out and kill someone in the wonderful world of fiction. On my blog, I spotlight a different author every Wednesday. Writers might be shy, but shyness needs to burn off so that the work of the author can shine through. I leave you with these words of wisdom and encouragement: Never give up on a dream. Keep pushing through the barriers, the shyness, the rejection letters, the not so wonderful reviews. What it all boils down to is this. We only get one shot at life and have to make every day count.

Sharon Donovan lives in Pittsburgh, PA, with her family. Prior to the loss of her vision, she was a legal secretary for the Court of Common Pleas where she prepared cases for judges in Domestic Relations. She has certificates in business and medical transcription. She is a published author with The Wild Rose Press, White Rose Publishing, Whimsical Publications and Chicken Soup for the Soul. Echo of a Raven is a CTRR recipient, and The Claddagh Ring is a CAPA nominee. To read excerpts and reviews of Sharon’s books and to sign up for her newsletter, visit her website: http://www.sharonadonovan.com/. For the entire month of May, she's running a Zorro Contest to kick off her psychological thriller, Mask of the Betrayer.
www.sharonadonovan.com

Sharon's blog:
http://sharondonovan.blogspot.com If you would like to do a guest appearance, shoot her an email: sharonad@comcast.net

MASK OF THE BETRAYER
AVAILABLE AT WHIMSICAL PUBLICATIONS
On sale for entire month of May
http://www.whimsicalpublications.com/books.html

Embrace Your Inner Sex Goddess

Please help me welcome the lovely and talented Anna Alexander. Anna makes her home in the Seattle area with her two daughters and her overactive imagination. She writes contemporary and paranormal romances that raise the temperature on those grey, rainy Northwest afternoons. Or maybe that’s just the heat coming off the oven as she bakes her infamous cranberry-white chocolate chip cookies. Follow her writing journey at AnnaAlexander.net, Facebook- Anna Alexander, or Twitter- AnnaWriter.

HERE'S ANNA: Family gatherings. No matter whose family it is, the conversation follows a similar pattern. “How’s work?” “What grade are you in now?” “How’s the remodel going?” The question I’m always asked is, “Are you published yet?”

“Not yet,” I respond. “But I was recently named a finalist in the Between the Sheets contest.”

“Great. What is that?”

“Well, I entered a ten page love scene and I was one of the five best.”

“Love scene? Oooo. What was it about?”

“Uh…well…” I can feel my ears burn as my spoonful of vanilla ice cream melts onto the top of Optimus Prime’s chocolate head.

I know for certain that this will not be the last time I encounter such a question. My books contain some fairly racy scenes, and very little is left to the imagination. I foresee a time in the future, after I’ve received the call (see, me being optimistic), when I will be standing in a lovely bookstore chatting with nice people, and someone will approach me and say, “So, you like to tie men up and shave their private areas.”

Regardless of whether I personally enjoy that or not, I wrote that scene, and it will be tied to me forever. Now, do I hang my head in shame and run and hide in the self-help section, or do I lift my chin, smile and say, “Thank you for reading my book. I hope you enjoyed it.”

The answer is smile, of course. Even if my cheeks are on fire, and my eyes glaze over in horror, I will still smile.

So if you are like me, a naturally shy person who is able to describe in explicit detail several uses for extra-virgin olive oil that do not involve cooking, how do you overcome that gut clenching, sweat producing, please-world-swallow-me-whole reaction? The key to that is understanding you as a person, and your reader.

The number one rule is write to your comfort level. This, I believe, is most important. Read out loud the sexiest scene in your manuscript in a strong, clear voice. If you can’t do it in the privacy of your own room, then how can you be comfortable promoting all aspects of your novel in public? Listen to your heart, and your internal embarrassment thermometer. If the thought of describing steamy oral sex makes you break out in hives, don’t do it.

Even though it’s the 21st century, people as a whole are still very sheltered when it comes to sex. I can’t understand why it is more publically acceptable to have a movie where someone is violently decapitated over a moving, emotional, explicit love scene. What may be vanilla to you, may be exotic and unimaginable to another. That person may lash out and make juvenile or negative comments to cover their own embarrassment or fear. Smile, nod your head, thank them for their opinion, and move on. My job as a fiction author is to entertain, not to teach, argue, or psychoanalyze their response to my book.

Be proud of your work. Conveying the nuances, both physical and emotional, of a sexually intimate relationship is a talent that takes incredible hard work and skill. The authors who are masters at love scenes cultivate enduring readerships for that reason. Their readers want that experience. If you can deliver that then don’t be afraid of embracing your inner sex goddess. The world can handle a little sexy.

Video Blog about Ereaders and Print Books

I'm delighted to welcome multi-published author Catherine Bybee to my blog. Catherine is a number one selling author of paranormal romance. Her latest release, Binding Vows has hit the top 100 list at Amazon's Time Travel Romance. Her book trailers have one top honors at You Gotta Read Reviews Best Book Trailer Awards. A wife and a mother of two boys, one fourteen the other eleven, is busy with countless hours of volunteer work, writing and a career as an ER Nurse.



Anyone interested in Catherine Bybee's previous video blogs check out her YouTube page by clicking HERE. Or stop by her website for more information about her books by visiting her website.